Coming from a girl who has spent 19 years dependent on someone; whether that be boys, friends, or even family, I’m not here to lecture you. I’m here because I want every person who is dependent on someone to understand that it’s not a life we should be living. 19 years has been full of putting my happiness into someone else’s hands. I never took responsibility for my actions, not my successes, not my failures. Everything I did was motived by the people who surrounded me and trying to maintain their happiness before my own.
Everybody always says that you need to be happy with yourself before you can love someone else or be completely honest and open with another person. It took me up until now to realize that that’s a 100% true. I have been on my own for the first time in a very long time and I really think that I’m okay. This isn't me telling you that “happiness is the key” or some other cheesy expression, it’s simply about you and whether or not you're living the life you pictured for yourself. This is about being dependent on yourself. This is you doing things for you because it makes you happy. This is about not being afraid to put everything aside and focus on bettering the person you know you are. Some people won’t understand and some will get angry, even the people who you thought would support you. But listen to me, because I spent my whole life trying to pick up the broken pieces of everybody around me that I started cutting myself on all their broken glass.
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I could sit here and talk about this for hours because this realization I've made has finally reached my sense of knowledge and my sense of pride. And I can honestly say with everything in me that I have come to accept my reality and I have come to accept the situations I have put myself in without blaming other people for my actions. I just finally realized that I am OK— and that I am okay being on my own.
I’m just as strong alone as I am with someone else.
We spend our lives dependent on people because it’s comfortable. And I have been living comfortably— and I’m done. My life could be full of adventure, and great friends, and great music, and what the hell, great food! So from now on, I’m done putting other people's happiness before my own and I really hope that you are too.
