Dear People Pleasers,
If you are like me, you have a servant's heart. You will drop everything to help someone in need. You forgive easy, give 110% and you are the very definition of optimistic. You are sensitive and in tune with the world outside of your own. If you are like me, you can’t stand to let people down.
If you don’t understand how this could be a problem, let me explain. I spread myself way too thin. Between having three jobs, a full-time college student, leading a youth group at my church, having a social life, volunteering, and a well-balanced relationship with my family and boyfriend, I’m not sure how I get it all done most days. I am not trying to brag to say look at all that I do. Because believe me, it can be stressful, but I love my life. But, it can become problematic, so here's my advice to fellow people pleasers.
Do not give up on loving others.
Others are not like us. Once I gave $20 to a homeless person on the street. My friends instantly bashed me and said I wasted money and that he was going to use it for drugs. The way I see it, Jesus did not pick and choose who he helped and loved, so why should we? It is not my business how he used that money, and I pray that it did go to good use. I am not saying I give money to any needy person I need, but sometimes I feel called to help. So I pray and help in any way that I can. People will question your kind soul. They see hatred where you see an opportunity to love. Do not give up and do not be ashamed. Keeping loving others, faith in humanity is alive because of us.
Guard your heart.
I forgive too easily, that is actually my downfall as a person. I get hurt a lot because of it. But I am learning to guard my heart. What do I mean by this? People will take advantage of you. It is okay to remove people from your life. Be cautious with who you help. Walk in love and live off of the fruits of the Spirit. But do not let the wickedness and evil of the world damage your tender heart.
Learn to say no.
If you are a people pleaser, you hate telling anyone no. We always want to help others. But it is important to take care of ourselves. It is something that I am still learning. Those friends will not hate you if you say no to going to dinner. It is okay to focus on yourself for a day. People will understand, and if they give you grief, just remind them of all your other commitments.
It's okay to show emotion.
I am very sensitive. Raise your voice at me, and I will probably cry. But sometimes I try so hard to please others, I forget that it is okay to cry or be angry. Everyone once in a while, all of my emotions builds up and I need to vent. Shout-out to the people that let me vent/cry to you. Just take the time to yourself to decompress, emotional breakdowns will become less common.
It's not a bad thing.
Too many times, people pleasing is seen as a bad thing. Okay so comparing yourself to others is bad. Draining/ overworking yourself is bad. But you have a servant's heart, it is a gift. It is okay to want to help and be seen as goodness to everyone around you. Do not let it get to your head. And don’t listen to others. We have a special heart.
Keep giving 110%. Keep helping others and always strive to be greater. But do this is Jesus’ name. Walk with him. If we go to him first, he will give you the strength to keep going. Being a people pleaser is not bad. I have a super busy life but I love it. I just need reminders to take some time to myself. I suggest you do the same. We are the changers of the world.
Sincerely,
The girl who lives her life for others.
