Dear fellow human being,
Hi. How are you?
If you’re like me, this is a point in time that is not new, nor old. It's one that comes every now and then in the midst of a meal, a shower, or playing a sport. Something hits you, and suddenly there you are in an existential crisis realizing that you just don’t know anything.
Have you ever had those moments where everything seems uncertain, when suddenly your reasoning for your major, reasoning for your relationships, college, friends, everything seems dangerously hanging by threads and you barely know why you’re doing things anymore, and you realize that nothing is set in stone, and then you realize that you just. Don’t. Know.
Don’t worry. I’ve been there. I am here. And that’s okay.
In my second year in college, the only thing I know for sure is that I know nothing for sure. At least nothing about our lives now. I cannot be certain of anything about my life. It’s really scary to think that all my past decisions have led to this point, and that if I went back to any specific one and changed it, it would change everything else. Sometimes I wish that things were different. Sometimes I think, wow, I’ve made these choices and I don’t know how or why.
Have you ever thought about your life, and wondered if you were doing anything right? Have you ever felt like we are all just floating around, floundering in our interests in music and life and our flings with love and slowly making our lives out of whatever dust settled around us? I have. But there must be a reason for all of it. There is a purpose for it all. And that’s what comes with not knowing. The “being okay” with not knowing. That’s my favorite part. Because guess what? You also don’t know what’s going to happen when you get in someone’s car. You don’t know what’s going to happen if you walk down the street, or let that guy walk you home. You don’t know what’s going to happen if you meet someone for coffee, or buy something at the grocery store, or travel someplace new. There are so many things that we don’t know. And guess what? They’re all okay. They’re all great.
There is an enormous relief in realizing that it’s okay not to know, and that’s not a new saying. “Everything will work out” they say, and give us an education and shoo us out the door into the world where we don’t know what will meet us. But that’s great! That is so incredibly exciting.
How boring would it be if we knew what was going to happen?
So while we’re out there, floundering in our own searches, discoveries, and panic and wondering if you are doing the right thing, worrying about the future, I would just advise you, yes YOU to breathe. Right now. Breathe. Not knowing is a beautiful, exciting thing that gives life its zest and joy. It’s like a sport. If you know who’s going to win, would you even play? Would you try?
So go out today with a smile. Today is a great day, and you’ll face so many unknowns. Rejoice in that. Cherish the unknowns and the yet-to-be’s. Dwell in possibility. Thrive in possibility.
It is not okay not to know. It’s wonderful not to know.
-Your fellow human who also doesn't know
