Dear *insert name here*,
First of all, how could you? How could you hurt me the way that you did? Never in my life would I have imagined that someone I grew up with, shared good memories with, would be the person to turn my world upside down.
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I know you probably don't fully understand the damage you caused because you aren't the one who has to live with it. You aren't the one who has to deal with the aftermath of your selfish decision, but unfortunately I am. You did what you did, and you got out without a scratch, while meanwhile I am still nursing the wounds on an occasional basis.
When I found out what you did to me, I cried. I cried a lot. I couldn't get the picture of it out of my head. I screamed, begged, pleaded, but each time I thought of what happened, the back of my throat burned as I tried to hold back my tears. I played it off like it was no big deal, but inside I felt a piece of my heart break. I put my trust into someone who I thought was helping me, only to be completely backstabbed in the process. You knew exactly what you were doing, and you could've stopped at any time, but you were greedy and selfish and that is something that I still to this day have a hard time understanding.
Going into my senior year of high school, and onto my freshman year of college, I couldn't figure out what changed inside of me. My viewpoint on female friends and other females my age in general drastically took a turn for the worse. I started to believe that most females my age that weren't involved in relationships were a threat to me and my relationship. I couldn't figure out how I went from someone so trusting and understanding, to this person consumed with jealousy and insecurity... and then it hit me...You fractured a part of my trust.
I wish I could say this is something easy to fix, but it isn't. You can't throw a bandaid on top of shattered trust and call it a day... it is something that I have been living with and dealing with ever since you did what you did. Don't get me wrong-- The hurt doesn't sting as bad as it once did. The wound has healed, and has become less fresh with time, but that does not mean that the scars are not still there. I will go weeks or even months without thinking about it, but if something small reminds me, it comes back like a hurricane crashing over me. I am not writing this letter to hurt you, because I do not want to be like you. I would never intentionally hurt someone I once cared about. I am writing this because I hope you can understand just how much damage you can do to someone, by being selfish. You completely ruined my trust, simply because you decided to hurt me and benefit yourself.
I remember the day that I decided to forgive you. That day it felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I had carried the burden of your decision around with me for so long, that the relief was overwhelming, and completely satisfying. I know I wasn't perfect either. I know that I let my bitterness and my pain turn me into someone so out of character for me, and I am ashamed of that. I am ashamed of the side you saw of me, but at the same time, I needed to do that for myself. I needed to stand up for myself, and show you just exactly how much you hurt me, and how much weight I was carrying because of you
My mother once told me that you should pray for your family, and you should pray for your loved ones, and your friends... but most importantly, you should pray for the people that you don't agree with. I want you to know that despite everything, I pray that you become the person that you are meant to be. I pray that life gives you everything you desire, and more. I pray that you end up with someone that will love you and take care of you, the way we all deserve to be loved. But most of all, I pray that you understand the impact and the hurt you had on my life, and learn from this lesson, so you don't hurt another person in the future.
Best wishes,
Me
