Thank you for your love even when I didn't deserve it. Thank you for saying yes even when I know you did not want to. Thank you for saying no when I needed to hear it. Thank you for your strong shoulder and tough backbone especially for standing up to me when I was in the wrong. Thank you for loving me through it all...and for still loving me today. Thank you for being there for me and never letting me down. Thank you for always putting my feelings first and never forgetting to love me.
I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I let selfishness and insecurities overpower our relationship. I'm sorry you were counting on me. I'm sorry I let you down time after time again, when you thought I could change. I'm sorry you put so much faith into this..only for me to prove you wrong. I'm sorry you waited for me, you poured your heart out to me, you wrapped me in your arms with the same love as you always used to, you gave me all of your time and all of your effort. I'm sorry I was insecure. I'm sorry I never felt like I could own up to all the things you did for me each and every day out of your love for me. I'm sorry that I let little things get to me. You never let me down. You never failed to amaze me. Your humbleness. Your caring heart. Really. You were my world. Believe it or not. You gave me everything and more. I will forever be thankful for that. You filled my life with so many blessings. And I'm sorry I couldn't return them to you like before. I'm sorry I couldn't make you happy like I use to be able to do. I'm so incredibly sorry. I'm sorry that I tried to find any kind of error in the relationship and would get mad over the littlest things that weren't worth the arguments or the tears. You never let me down. I let my insecurities in past relationships and experiences get in the way of the one thing I wanted to cherish in every way I possibly could. I let my selfishness get in the way of all we worked so hard to obtain. I'm sorry I was too blind to see all you have to offer not only to me, but to the world.
Aside from just being so incredibly sorry, I wanted to say thank you. I thank you for all the amazing memories—the dates, the adventures, the midnight talks, the gifts, the support, the love, the laughs we shared. Those were all genuine. Every single one of them, meant so much to me. Though this may mean nothing to you now...it still needed to be said. Even if things are different now, I can never deny the reality of what our relationship was. It was true. I mean that. It was happy. Sure we had some of the worst days ever...but those never outweighed the beautiful memories we shared together. It was some of the best moments of my life. And I did learn from it. I learned from you. Thank you for showing me how to love again, even if I couldn't love you to the best of my abilities.
I cannot and will not ever forget the way I feel, though. I cannot pretend like everything is okay, because it's not fair to you and it's not going to help me grow as a whole either. If I could turn back time and fix everything, I would. But I can't. No matter how bad I wish I could. I can only promise you that I will not make the same mistakes again in the future. I can only assure you that I have changed for the better because of you and our experiences together. Though I still have many obstacles and things to work on with myself..personally. I only wish the best for you—that you may find the one you're meant to be with, that you will find your true happiness. I will begin to work on myself. To love myself. I will work on all the things we continually talked about. I will do it not only for you, but most importantly for myself. I know I can't help you and you may not be ready to love me or to love anyone at all yet. But I really want the best for you. And this, right now, is what is best for you and for me. I want to love you the way you deserve. I want to give you everything you have given me in return. I want more than anything for you to speak to me again. I want you in my life. Always and forever. Whether it be together or from afar, I want you to trust me. I want things to go back to the way they were the very day I met you.
Once again, I'm sorry and I thank you for all that you have done for me. I cannot thank you enough, for everything. I will always love you. I will always be here for you. No matter what. If time is what you need, I will be patient. I will wait. I will work on myself. I will work on loving my insecurities. I will try my best to give you space.
If you have gotten to the bottom of this letter, know I am sorry. Know that I love you. Know that I miss you. Know that I ONLY want the absolute best for you. You deserve the moon and the stars. I am sorry I was too insecure and selfish to realize that.