To let go isn't to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn't leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn't winning and it isn't losing. It's not about pride, and it's not about how you appear, and it's not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn't blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts and doesn't leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It's not giving in or giving up. Letting go isn't about loss or defeat. To let go is to cherish memories and overcome and move on. It's having an ope mind and confidence in the future. Letting go is accepting. It's learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, that made you cry, and made you grow. It's about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon again. Letting go is having the courage to accept the change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It's realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path, and to set you free.
First off let me start by saying that this is not a “Thank You” note. Because you don’t deserve a thank you. Right now this is still a fresh wound and the only thing I can do right now is act like I hate you just to keep myself from texting you. Because if I didn’t tell myself these things about you I would change my mind and be right back where I was, when you let me feel like I was worthless and unimportant. I can’t go back to that.
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What I will say is that I miss you. I miss your face, hair,smell, your presence in general. The thing is though, that even though you ended it, I’m missing the person you were, not the person you are now. Because right now I don't know who you are, you changed.
When we first started hanging out you were amazing. I could see it in your eyes that you were happy. Which in turn made me even happier.
The day finally came when you did ask me if I wanted to start becoming more then "just friends" I was so happy because you told me over and over how I was the first girl you had these kind of feelings for and the most important part was I was the first girl you told your parents about in a long time. I felt the same about you. I should have seen that as a red flag. But then, you had just turned 21 and I knew that it was going to be a change. You were going out to bars with your friends all the time. I was 19 so I was never invited. When you were not out with your friends you were to busy to come see me.
It got to the point were you were “busy” every night. I never saw you. You were “busy” everyday. I never got to talk to you. I slowly started to realize that I deserved better and I think you knew it. I had told you before how I was feeling, yet you did nothing about it but say “that’s just how I am” I knew that was not true because I had seen you give your best, and I had seen your half best. Now I was getting none of you. You never should have let me continue to feel unwanted, worthless, unimportant, etc.
My question is why? why did you stop putting in the effort? when did you stop? You didn’t want the end, you actually seemed upset for a change. Even then though I didn’t hear or see anything from you that made me think things would change.
So I walked away, but please know that it wasn’t easy for me. But I need to do whats good for me and wondering every night what I did wrong, why your ignoring me, why I’m not enough isn’t good for me.
I miss you and us,who you used to be and how we were. Even as friends, you were a good part of me, and now it's all gone. You chose to kick me out because of the decision that I made. I know you aren't happy with it, I know you still care, otherwise you wouldn't be treating me the way that you are.
