Dear Morning,

You suck. There, I said it. I do not like you. I could beat around the bush and say “It’s not you. It’s me.” But let’s be honest...it is you. I mean your name sounds exactly the same as mourning. The thing that people experience when someone they love dies or when they are experiencing great amounts of stress.

If it weren’t for you, the number of times I am late to things would significantly decrease. I am never late because of the Afternoon or Evening, but you, Morning, are always a factor if I am late to anything. You always come so suddenly, and you are always there the second that I wake up. I don’t understand why you can’t just leave me alone. I never asked you to show up.

There are some people that claim to love you, but let’s be honest, they only love you if they have their ways of coping with you. Some people love Morning because they get to do their daily workout routines. #DoYouEvenLift. Some people love Morning because they get to start their day with time to themselves right away. Most people cope with Morning by using coffee or other caffeinated beverages so that they can pretend Morning is something they are genuinely excited about. But I see through all of their lies.

Every day, you make me abandon my favorite thing in the world, Sleep. Honestly, you have really strained the relationship I have with Sleep. We used to get along great. I would take naps in the middle of the day just so that I could reunite with Sleep. But you are making me spend less and less time with Sleep, and I really don’t appreciate that. It is not Sleep’s fault that more people like it over you.

I dislike you so much that when people tell me that they like you, I automatically do not trust them. “Morning people” wake up every day and pretend they are happy about Morning when we all really know they wish that they were snuggled up in their beds spending some quality time with Sleep. I can’t trust a person that can be that dishonest.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I wish you would stop coming so early in my day. I think it would better for both of us.

Sincerely,