Hey you,

Even if we never cross paths again, I will be forever grateful for our memories together. You unknowingly taught me more about myself and relationships and unconditional love than I may ever know in my lifetime.

I walked away because it was beginning to hurt my heart to stay. As unbreakable as my exterior may seem, my heart is rather fragile. As much as my head wants to believe that you are unblemished, I must admit that I am beginning to put in effort for both of us. My capabilities reach only so far, and it is time to take care of myself.

I am proud of myself for knowing when to walk away, and I am proud of you for graciously allowing me to make a decision that was best for me at this time. Do not take our time apart as permanent, but instead interpret it as your time to grow and emotionally mature without romantic interruptions.

I do not blame you or your flaws. I do not blame your past romantic encounters for scarring you ever so much, for you are a product of your flawed environment.

While you may think that you are protecting my interests by walking away, I respectfully decline. I am the only one who knows what is best for me. I am the only one who can properly assess my wishes and desires, for you do not yet know my heart like I do. When I tell you my cravings, understand that they are far from thoughtless, and respect my wishes as what I want, for I am accounting proper judgement into my decisions.

I am grateful to have been marked by your beautiful soul. I view it as your invisible but permanent mark on my being. A stamp on a romantic passport, leaving behind memories and late-night laughs.

I deeply appreciate how often you used the term “we.” We will figure it out. We are getting better with my anxiety-related issues. Your selflessness astounds me in the most beautiful way. Never change these qualities in hopes of attracting temporary company.

You have gotten into a horrible habit of pushing away good people, fearing that you will taint their innocence. You have seen my demons, my dear. You know well that I am no angel.

I refer to you as the guy who almost let me get away because I’m hoping that you will be ready before it’s too late. I will admit, I don’t know when this window of opportunity will close, so please don’t take too long. You are unable to give me attention that I deserve, but that is not to say you are unworthy. You cannot be what my heart needs right now. That’s okay, my love. In return, please understand that just as you have your own emotional holes to patch, I have my own needs to fulfill.

In the case that you will not be ready in the foreseeable future, I understand. I will cherish our memories together, even if there are no more to be made.

Please understand that I have become invested and it hurts to feel ignored in return. Take the time that you need, but do not keep me waiting. A year of seductive glances with limited conversational interactions was long enough. I deserve more than to wait on the sidelines while giving you the power to teeter with my heart.

When you’re ready, if you’re ready, I need a sign. Until then, I’ll see you when I see you. I’ll be thinking of you, mi amor.

Daniella