Hey stranger,
Do you even remember me?
Probably not since you dropped off the face of the earth.
We had some good times.
When we met I never thought you'd end up such a huge part of my life, but you quickly became the biggest thing in it. I worried that I cared too much about you because I knew you weren't going to be around for long. When you left we decided to see where this crazy thing took us.
We drove a crazy amount of hours to see each other. I flew all over the country to meet your family and friends. I started to think that you might actually be good for me. You made me feel things I’ve never felt before. You made me happier then I’ve ever been before. Then you took it upon yourself to take it all away. I know that you went through some hard times that I couldn’t be there for. I know that you’re dealing with a lot right now, but I am too. When I asked you how you were doing you never once wondered about me. Looking back I should have realized that you just didn't care. I spent so much energy and time wondering how you were doing and if you were okay, and I bet you didn’t.
I understood that first week without any calls from you. I knew what you were going through something and I understood. I thought that you would come to me when you were ready, but I was wrong. That second week without any calls was hard. It hurt to think that you were forgetting about me. When the third week passed I started to get mad. By the fourth week I was just disappointed. I thought I at least deserved a goodbye.
I stupidly thought that because you were older that you were going to be better than other guys, but it turns out you were just better at hiding how much of a jerk you are.
You got my hopes up, I trusted you more then I ever should have. You made me think that we had a chance. I admit that I was stupid to think that. I looked at you like you were my knight in shining armor, but you were really just a douchebag wrapped in tin foil.
I really wish there had been some explanation as to why you decided to just duck out. No, “having a moment” is not an excuse. I wish you had felt comfortable enough to talk to me like I did. Instead you shut down and shut me out. It made me feel like everything we’d been through meant nothing, like I was nothing. I spent so many unnecessary nights crying over you and wondering what I did wrong, when I didn’t have any reason to. It wasn’t anything I did, and I realize it now.
Dear stranger, I loved you with everything that I had, but sometimes that’s not enough. As much as I prayed that you’d have a change of heart and suddenly want to talk to me again, I know that’s never going to happen. Loving someone is like playing trust fall with them, sometimes they're there to catch you with open arms, and sometimes you’re left to hit the ground and wonder what happened.