I never asked you to be superman, prince charming, or my saving grace. I didn’t ask you to fix my problems, help me get over them, or even be the solution. All I asked was for you to try and see where I was coming from, and respect that I still had things I needed to overcome mentally. I never wanted you to be the solution because this is a game only I can work through making the game a lot harder.
I was upfront with you about my anxiety, explaining in detail why I personally can’t trust certain people, and how when red flags occur I don’t just brush them off, I overthink them. I told you it was okay for you to walk away at any point if it was too much. I hoped you would try to understand and could be someone I could confide my deepest thoughts in. I thought being honest and up front would help the situation, but you still walked away and pointed fingers at me. You shamed and humiliated me for something that is out of my hands, something that is my biggest struggle.
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It’s something I personally need to overcome and I know the people who are by my side at my worst will be there when I fly. The people who are meant to be in my life will be there and the rest aren’t needed. At the end of it all I’m not sorry for my repetitive questions, concerns, and worrying. I’ve finally come to realize my anxiety is who I am, and no one can take that from me. I can improve every day but until then I am who I am. I’m a respectful, non-perfect, learning human being. When I ask questions I am not badgering, or questioning you, I’m just simply helping my anxiety.
