Dear ____________,
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Like most things, this too comes at a cost and this time it's the cost of my emotions and heart. I have learned a lot about you from afar but now it's time to finally tell you how it really is in my world.
Remember those stories about knowing when you walk into a room full of sunshine? What if I told you that you were that sunshine? What if you made the rain disappear every time you entered the room? In all honesty, it's true... you do. You are not only the sun though, you are also the rain. You are the rain that quenches my thirst because when I hear your voice my heart just melts into this puddle of absolute mush because of how attracted I am to you. When you look my way I can't help to turn, blush and squeal because it just makes my day. It makes me feel like you actually notice me not only as this blob of flesh in human form, but as me; a female with real feelings, hopes and dreams. You really know how to make my days and I'm grateful to know you...
However, like every good, there comes the bad. The storm rolls in and never leaves, the lightening makes the lights flicker on and off, and the thunder continues to roar. Here I stand safely assuming that you never see my interest, or my attempts to flirt. I sometimes feel like there are days when you just look towards me, but in reality you just stand looking through me. You may not feel the same way and your heart stays solid, and I - the female who stands waiting for you to try the shoe on my foot- understand this. I understand that you don't see me as a full human or that you even see my emotions, because there is this ugly thing in between us- a wall. This wall is not just any wall, but a cement wall. It's grey just like the pain, and it's got these perfect lines that go in all sorts of directions like the reality of love. It stops us from reality of things and that's okay. It's okay because like I said, to every good there is this thing that comes along and it is usually the bad.
At the end of the day, things are still not complete but in all honesty that's okay. It's okay to know that you are happy with life, and that's the important thing. Just know that one day when you stand at an alter holding the hands of this really gorgeous girl, wearing this beautiful gown of white, I'll be somewhere on planet earth congratulating you; because in the end I'm thankful for you. I'm thankful for you because you taught me something that I will forever hold on to; character and self-worth. I will forever remember the idea that character is a big role. It's a big deal when it comes to people I should be associating with and who I actually affiliate myself to. Character is the idea of who is really there for me at my worse and there for me congratulating me at my best. It's when I need help and when I am helping. That's character. My self-worth is as valuable as the throne the Queen is to sit on, and it should never be taken advantage of by others. My heart is not a toy and the worth of it is greater than anyone has ever told me. The hand that pushes my hair back behind my ear is not the same value as my self-worth. It is the idea that my worth is what I make it, only having the ability of influential shaping with each new person. That is my self-worth.
Thank you for the most important life lesson of all.... I honestly needed it.
Sincerely,
The girl who used to admire you from afar
