I know the feeling. You walk around with your head down and your shoulders slumped back. You rarely make eye contact with people, and when you do, you glance back at the floor as fast as humanly possible. You go day by day living this way and slowly but surely, it destroys your self-esteem. Whether it was from one dumb boy downgrading you or a nasty comment on social media, I know the feeling.
It started with a boy. Not just any boy, however. A boy who never laid a hand on me, but hurt me more than anyone else ever has. Every day, I was constantly compared to other girls and degraded about everything from my appearance to the way I would handle situations.
“You’re being psychotic today.”
“You brought this on yourself because you’re crazy.”
Little did I know, this boy who constantly belittled me and ridiculed me would have a lasting impression for my outlook on relationships for the rest of my life. Even after I stopped seeing this boy, I still compared myself to other girls. I was never skinny enough. Or pretty enough. Or maybe she wasn’t as “crazy” as I was. To say the least, my self-image had reached an all-time low and so did my confidence.
Eventually, I came to know what exactly my self-worth was. This boy who had controlled so many of my emotions wasn’t worth it. Incessantly being put down verbally wasn’t worth it. This boy who claimed he loved me, wasn’t worth what he had put me through.
To the girls who are in similar positions as this, I implore you to go out and find better things that benefit you spiritually, mentally, and physically. Life is too short to be anything but happy. If you are unhappy in a relationship/friendship, leave it. If you have to question if someone cares about you, you already have your answer. Go out and do things that you love rather than stay connected with something that makes life so hard.
Always keep in mind that you are worth so much more than what you think of yourself and I beg you to go out and find that.
