Dear Old Me,

Let’s be real here first of all. You are scared out of your mind. You’re at the crosswalks, and that fork in the road. You are almost 20 years old. At almost 20 years, you experienced a life supply of smiles, laughter, tears, pain, and full of remarkable to even shattering memories. Twenty years of trying to fit in, and trying to find your own place in this never slowing down world. Yet at almost 20 years old, I don’t feel like me. That bucket list that was made years ago was never fulfilled. Looking back at old photographs bring bittersweet nostalgia, of the girl we once were and knew.

That’s because you aren’t yourself anymore, and it’s time to say goodbye to that girl you used to know, the old me. All of those old friendships that blessed you with good memories, but also all of those toxic memories that never leave. You have strayed from your path, or that path that you planned and chose at 16 years old. You didn’t end up happily ever after with your first kiss, and you didn’t end up staying super close to your childhood best friends even though you spent year after year swearing things wouldn’t change. You’ve seen many things that you never even imagined you would ever experience or hear. It is sad to look back and remember what you were, who we were with, and what we wanted to do and plan for our future. But are we where we pictured us to be? No. This is one of those many times where we look into that mirror, and question who we are, because everything has changed.

So I acknowledge the girl I used to know, for this is goodbye, and me turning to a new page. This isn’t goodbye to myself, but a chapter of who I was. At twenty years old I can say I don’t know exactly what I am doing with my life, but that is perfectly fine with me. At twenty years old I have a whole new chapter open for me, open for me to learn what new dreams, goals, and passions I’ll inherit in my now present and future self. Just because we’re saying goodbye to the old doesn’t mean it has to go away forever, everything I have felt and experienced you take as a learning experience. Just remember that even the sad experiences were for the best, because you pulled out of each one, and if anything we were even stronger than before. So this is it, at almost twenty years old I am ready to take on the new, and move on from the old. Just remember that you have not failed, or lost your way because things didn’t turn out the way we planned. Growing as an individual is complicated, and takes more than one path to walk and one door to open.

Yours Truly,

Me