I know what you're going through. I know what it is like to be in your shoes. Do you hear me? You are not alone. I know, girl. I know.
You are laying in your bed, phone still in your hand and that single tear tumbles down your cheeks and wets you T-shirt. You can feel your throat and tongue begin to swell--you are wordless. It seems that just hours ago, everything was perfectly in tact; it was almost as if nothing could have ruined what you had built up over the past months, or even years. No matter the amount of time, it hurts either way. You ask, beg, plead, "What can I do to fix this?", "Please don't do this!", "You don't mean it, please just come back and let's figure this out!" But nothing seems to work; they're just empty words upon a page. You can feels your heart deteriorating ventricle by ventricle, artery by artery into a pile of brokenness that just sits darkly in the pit of your stomach. You carry this weight day by day, hiding behind this façade that whispers, "I am okay." or "There's nothing wrong." But truly, all you can think about is how many more tears can your body produce and how empty and dead you feel on the inside. You think nothing, absolutely nothing, can mend you back to the strong woman you were. Because without him, you are the little girl who locks herself in her room and refuses to come out.
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But God...
You know a story is about to be extraordinary when you see the words, "But God...". Just in case you didn't know or you just forgot in the midst of the deep heartbreak you are consumed in, YOU are the daughter of the Star Breather. You are not normal, you are not pretty, you are not just a girl. And you are not broken. This is not a bad life and you dare not seek death or bloody, scared up wrists just because someone failed to realize how special you are. You are beautiful and you are admired and sought after. God has amazing and extravagant plans that far exceed your plans after high school and college. And no boy can take that away from you. You are strong and I swear you can make it through this. It may take a while, but I swear when you finally release your tired, white knuckles from that rope that has pulled your arm out of its socket from holding on so tight and for so long, you will be able to experience the fullness of what was meant to be yours.
You were not made to seek or beg for the attention of others, but to seek and beg for attention from your Creator. He is the only man you will ever need. When your father or some haughty guy fails you regularly, He is there to pick up all your pieces and trade your ashes for beauty. He will restore you and He will always stay true to you. He is everything you will ever need. These boys are temporary just like their fascination for you is. God will give you exactly what you need, and that includes introducing a man into your life that He created just for you. And I promise you, I swear that when you know, you will know. And none of the past will matter because the future God created for you, way before you were even conceived will be fulfilled and it will be the person standing in front of you. All those heartbreaks and tears, they will be so worth it. Because all of the atrocity you have faced up until this moment will make you appreciate what God has designated to be yours. Trust His timing and trust His plan. And don't you ever forget your worth. You deserve the moon, stars and the sun. You are wonderful and you are perfect and funny and interesting. You are you. And your value will never decrease based off of someone's inability to see your true worth.
