Where do I even begin? You knew almost from the very beginning that he was having a child with someone else. Granted, it was my friend that told you about me and not him, but you knew. You still decided to stay with him. That, I will never understand. I’ll never understand how a woman, a true woman, can stay with a man who consciously decides to walk away from the responsibility of becoming a parent, a man who abandons his son. I guess that’s your business.
I don’t care that you have been sad about this, I don’t care if you have cried. I’m not saying that maliciously, but your pain in all of this, is nothing short of insignificant. Compared to the agony that I have endured from him leaving me and our son is exponentially greater than anything you will ever feel regarding this situation.
I reached out to you to be the bigger person when all I wanted you was for you to remain irrelevant. I wanted you to get the hell out of the picture. When we spoke, you asked me “why is having your son's biological father around so important if he clearly has no interest?” Until you’re a mother you can’t even begin to wrap your head around that. What mother wants their child to be fatherless?
You claimed to not have ulterior motives and while I don’t think that you’re necessarily keeping him away from our son, I don’t think you're innocent either. I think you got in way too deep with him and now you can’t dig yourself out and you know that I have something that you will never have, though from what I hear you could have, and I think that kills you. I think it really gets under your skin that I’m the mother of his first son. I will never apologize for that.
You have blogged about our situation and I don’t appreciate it. That’s another reason why I will never be okay with you. I understand that I drew blood first and wrote about you on my Tumblr, which I had no idea you even know about, but I deleted that post before I even know one person had read it, let alone you. You subsequently wrote about me, saying that I can’t call myself a feminist because I expect him to pay child support for a kid he “clearly doesn’t want” and that it’s a matter of inequality. First of all, you don’t know the first thing about our situation. I have explained to him more than once that I didn’t go after him for child support, the state did. Second, you are nothing when it comes to this. This has nothing to do with you. You will never be my sons stepparent, you will never be around him period.
You have the crazy thought that I somehow give a damn about you. Blogging about how I need to leave you alone, blocking me on all social media platforms when I make new accounts to get away from you. That is insane that you even find me when I have no idea what your social media is, only when I ask for it to block you before you find me. You still manage to beat me to the punch and that to me is ludicrous. You’re ignorant to the fact that people have sent me an overwhelming abundance of the things you post. More for laughs than anything, but you’re not as adored as you think you are.
I need to make it clear that I don’t want him. Romantically or otherwise. Too much has happened and he hasn’t even spoke to me since before I got pregnant. He is yours and for some reason you think that’s some great prize. By all means, convince yourself that you’re in a loving, trustworthy and stable relationship. I just have to say that despite my personal feelings towards you, I think you can do better and I think you deserve better. I just hope you realize it before you find yourself in a similar situation.
I digress. My intention with this was not to be mean, I just wanted to say that I don’t hate you. I don’t like you, but I will never cause you problems. When we inevitably run into each other, I will not make a big of deal it. I won’t even acknowledge your existence. I am a kind person and I can be kind to you. If you say hi to me, I’ll say it right back and we’ll leave it at that.