Hey, you.
As the holiday season is approaching, I began to think about the time we spent last year, and I smile. It was one of the few times in my life where I knew I was happy.
I try to remember all of the good times we had and I smile and laugh (especially at all the dumb memes we shared.) In the past year I have grown to forgive others, and to not to be angry at them. I just want to thank you for all of those great high school sweetheart memories that I will never forget.
First of all, thank you for inviting me into your loving family. At first, it was a bit strange, I will admit; I wasn't used to such a nice, loving, family environment, but I grew to love them as my own. As you already know, I didn't grow up under the best circumstances, so having you along with such an amazing family was a huge blessing that I will never forget. They've helped me so much emotionally, and in many other ways as well. Your mother was there for me more than my own mother was, as well as your father, at the time. Thank you for letting a lost girl experience what it was like to be in a family with unconditional love and support. For that, I will always appreciate you.
Thank you for dealing with a lot of my problems with me, and I'm sorry that I threw a lot of them at you at once knowing you weren't used to it. You tried your best at first to make me happy, but understandably you became emotionally exhausted. I'm sorry that a lot of my actions scared you, and that I would be upset with how you would react. What did I expect? I was your first girlfriend; I shouldn't have expected you to solve any of my issues. You didn't know what to do, and a lot of people wouldn't. It's okay.
Thank you for making my senior year of marching band amazing. Thank you for being someone I could always count on to encourage me enough to give my best performace for every run-through. Even though we had to deal with a bad director who literally tormented us for the entire season, and even though we didn't do the best at state finals, it was great knowing that someone always had my back and came to my rescue to prove our director wrong, and vise versa. I never regretted defending you when our director did his absolute best to get you in trouble, and I hope you feel the same.
I know that we've hurt each other and said/did horrible things to one another, but I have put that behind me and I hope you have as well. I'm sorry. We're young and have A LOT of growing up to do. From the moment you told me you loved me, I wasn't sure if you knew what love was, but I knew I loved you, too. I now realize that it is much easier to love someone when you love yourself first, and I will never truly be ready to be in a relationship until I do that.
Even though we ended up not being compatible with each other and I have moved on, I will forever be grateful for all of the good moments we shared. I don't regret anything and I want to let you know that I don't want to be angry at you anymore. God has worked up a lot in my heart in the past year, and a lot of it has to do with letting go and forgiving.
As you and I go in our separate ways in life, I genuinely hope that God gives you everything you've ever wanted. I hope you get accepted into your dream school and become a chemical engineer like you've always wanted, I hope you get to march Bluecoats, your dream drum corps. I hope you find a girl who loves you better than I did, and that you have a beautiful family, and I hope you get to experience and love life, as everyone should. Do well and kick some butt out there, and thank you for giving me some of the happiest moments of my life.
Sincerely,
Vashti