There's always that one person in your life where you know from the very beginning you're going to fall in love. And you were that person to me. You supported me; I opened up to you like I never have before. You were my very own personal paradise. I loved everything about you, the way your hair fell across your face, its look of satisfaction when you made me smile. And, my all time favorite, your beautiful, kind eyes.
When I was with you I didn't need anything or anyone else. You were my lover, my therapist and my best friend. Your smile was my safe place. And let me tell you, when they say you love your first love like no other, they mean it. Nothing in the world compares to the way you fall in love for the first time. But I promise you, nothing hurts more than when that person who made you feel invincible is suddenly the reason you're left feeling nothing at all.
Nothing compares to the way your heart breaks for the first time.
You were the first guy in my life who made me feel so invincible. I never thought this would happen to us. Never in a million years. We were supposed to be that couple that everyone's still talking about, saying, "Wow they're still together?!" We may not have had it all together, but I thought, together, we just may have had it all. But no one is perfect and I began slowly falling apart. You did your best to pick up the pieces but I was too much for you. And for that, I'm truly sorry from the bottom of heart.
But at the same time, I never thought you would give up on me the way you did. I never thought that I was fighting for nothing. I never thought you would have watched me try, just to know I was inevitably going to fail anyway. I never thought you were going to break my heart.
I never thought the day would come when I heard you say, "I don't love you anymore."
Those words were earth-shattering.
It was awful. At first I felt nothing. Like it wasn't even real. And then I began to get angry, I just needed to find someone to blame for this. I wanted someone to be held accountable for what happened to us. And I blamed you. Although in the very end it may have been your fault, I can't blame you for all of it. And after I made that realization I have felt nothing but pain and sadness ever since.
Because the truth is, part of me still loves you. Even if you don't feel the same way. You were my first love, and nothing compares to that. You will always have a place in my heart.
We're in a better place in life, and I'm grateful every day we didn't end in a total disaster. But I still know things will never be the same. We're trying to move on. And trying to be better. I want nothing more than for you to be happy.
I want you to find the one girl whose heart you will never break.
To the boy who broke my heart, thank you for giving me a chance.
Sincerely,
Me
