In my second year in college, I’ve been the listening ear to a lot of relationships throughout my time. And believe me when I say that I’ve heard of every fight you could think of, from fighting about being Facebook official to her liking another guy’s Instagram photo. And while some fights can be petty and insignificant, I am here to tell you that some truly are not.
I think it is important for people of our age to truly reflect on their relationships and recognize their compatibility, or lack thereof. Fighting about Facebook and Instagram are stupid little fights, but if you find yourself fighting about true moral conflicts, I hate to tell you, but it isn’t going to work.
People are all raised with different morals, values and overall ideals. These are things that are driven into them from the moment they were born; things such as drive for success, expression of emotions and interest of activities. To me, these are things that are essential to add up on in order to form a healthy relationship. In fact, these things seem obvious to make a relationship work. For example, if you are someone to always talk out your problems and emotions, then progressing a relationship with someone who likes to keep their feelings to themselves probably is not going to work. If you love adventuring and exploring, then someone who likes being a home-body is most likely not your best fit. These similarities of interests and actions are how people bond and build a strong relationship.
Keep in mind a few very important things. One, we are still so very young. Take a second to think about it. Most of us aren’t even old enough to buy alcohol yet. If you find yourself constantly fighting with your significant other, let it go. You have literal years to find someone that won’t. People meet the loves of their lives after college too. Also, it is so, so, so OK to be alone. Everyone is always trying so hard to find that person they can rely on, but forget to just look in the mirror. Having time to be alone and find out what you truly want is important. Let yourself explore different possibilities and live your life without the approval of another person. The best relationship will be the one doing those same things right by your side.
Just remember, it’s OK if things don’t work out. Don’t try to force a relationship to work that isn’t. That will only cause you unneeded stress and pain. The on-again off-again relationship will, unfortunately, never work. You keep breaking up for a reason, don’t forget that. There is no rush to find someone. Let yourself have high standards. Only date that “perfect match,” don’t settle. Listen to your friends when they tell you it isn’t working because most likely, they are right. They see the relationship with an unbiased eye. Don’t waste time on people you already see problems with. College is the one time of your life with complete freedom of choice. Find someone who wants to make those choices with you, not against you. Don’t be blinded by love. Your heart can fool you, but your gut won’t.
