Twenty-three of you didn’t want me, twenty-three. I can still hear you saying goodbye for the last time, or even the sound of my trash bag full of clothes being thrown out the front door. Hearing it twenty-three times in different ways. Some of you decided to go the “pity me” route and tell them that I was an awful child, that I was out of control and couldn’t be taken care of. Please just explain to me how a seven-year-old can be so awful. Or some of you went the path of lying and say that you just aren’t going to foster anymore so you must get rid of me. Then you later find out that you are taking care of another little girl. Was I not good enough, was it because I missed my mom? I tried to forget about her but you were the one who reminded me every day that I was going to end up just like her, rotting in prison. What hurt me the most was when you would hurt me so bad that I would have to be pulled out of your home. You got paid to abuse me, you told me I was just an income to you. I can still hear those words. I hear them every time an adult figure wants to get close to me, or when someone wants to try and nurture me. I hear you saying how worthless I am and how I deserve no one. What makes me so infuriated is that you have said those vile things to other children. Children who have no one on their side but you. This what you got paid for and you couldn’t even accomplish that. I am not going to lie and try to make myself sound tough because that will not help anyone. You hurt me in so many more ways than you probably imagined. You thought those times you hit me or didn’t feed me just affected me then but I now flinch every time someone tries to touch me and eat my food in 2.5 seconds. You didn’t think I would still cry every night thinking about the things you said. I go to sleep remembering that I am not wanted. I fear basements because of you. You took my childhood away and I want to let you know I have never gotten it back. The thing is though, you didn’t win, I did. I am now eighteen years old going to college like you said I couldn’t. I now live in an apartment, when you said I’d be homeless. I am surrounded by so many amazing friends who have given me a substantial amount of family, which you said I would never achieve. I work full time at a job I put my heart and soul into, which you of course told me I would never be able to hold one. I have proven you wrong, I won. I am not angry with you; I am hurt but that will eventually pass. The main thing I must say is thank you. You made me realize the type of person I didn’t want to be when I grew up, thank you.
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Here are 17 moments that dukes experience in a year at JMU as told by Bob's Burgers:
1. When you get your acceptance letter
2. When you try to figure out how class enrollment works
Sadly, this isn't just a freshman thing.
3. When it’s move in day
4. When you arrive on campus and see all of the attractive people
5. FROG Week
Arguably the best part of freshman year.
6. When you find your squad
7. When you visit DHall (RIP) or EHall for the first time
8. When you take on way too many credits
"I can handle 20 credits, right?"
9. When you go to your first party at JMU
10. When the rival school shows up for the homecoming game (or any game really)
JMU pride runs deep.
11. Sunday Brunch
12. When you see the infamous “preacher” for the first time
13. The first snow day
Shout out to Snowmaggedon 2016.
14. Madipalooza
15. When finals week rolls around
It really is that bad.
16. When you have to say goodbye
17. And when you finally get to go back
A year at JMU is a wild ride. You'll meet so many new people and experience so many new things. It can and most likely will be overwhelming at first. You want to see and do everything as soon as you get there. Remember, you have all year (four of them in fact) to experience all of the amazing things at JMU. Seize the year and make it special. Find your place, your people, and your passions. Everything will come together when you learn how to utilize all that JMU has to offer and make it a second home.
Remember, your college experience is unique. But there will be many moments in your career at JMU that you'll get to experience with everyone around you . Embrace those shared moments and all they have to offer. Don't overlook the little moments and be adventurous. Find an adventure in the little things. Take pictures and write things down (but don't forget to also live in the moment). When things look down, remember that they'll always come back up. Step outside of your comfort zone. Meet new people, try new things, and be grateful that you go to the very best school.
Go Dukes!
For other people, their birthday is the best day of the year. They celebrate the week before and after, and love having a huge party to celebrate. Here's a laundry list of just about everything that can happen on your birthday.
1. Your family and friends ask what you want for your birthday, so you give them a list of options.
2. You're super excited about your birthday the week before.
3. Your family flies in town to celebrate with you.
4. Your siblings wake you up.
5. Your friends are so excited to be with you on your big day.
6. If you work, your office might throw a party for you.
7. For your actual party, you plan a small get-together with close family and friends ...
8. ... or large celebration with everyone you know.
9. You eat the best meal you've had in weeks.
10. You devour the first piece of cake proudly.
11. You embarrass yourself somehow.
12. You get the present you really wanted but thought no one would get you.
13. You are a little sad about getting older.
14. That feeling wears off and you realize how happy you are to have family and friends to celebrate this day with you.
15. The morning after your birthday looks something like this.
Have a great week!
1. When do I have class again?
You have a screenshot of your schedule on your phone, it's your laptop background and you made your mom text it to you every so often throughout the day just in case. By next week you'll be able to walk to class in your sleep.
2. Did I have class with her last semester? Should I say hi?
There's that girl you had a class with like four semesters ago. She's probably ignoring you, but you just keep staring at her until your memory fails you.
3. Absolutely ridiculous.
You mostly likely had this thought while reading the syllabus and seeing that the oral presentation makes up 30 percent of your final grade. Good luck.
4. When does this class end?
You know when this class ends. The professor knows when this class ends. All your classmates know when the class ends. Staring at the clock won't make the time go faster.
5. I'm hungry.
You're always hungry because YOU NEVER STOP EATING.
6. WHERE ARE MY FRIENDS?
Everyone is really quiet because no one here knows each other. Now you have to make all new friends and you're dreading every minute of it.
7. Why do I have to introduce myself?
I hate icebreakers. "Tell us your name, major/year and a fun fact about you." No, I don't want to. Can we leave now? Please?
8. When did they fix __?
You were probably shocked when you came into school and saw the escalators working again like they should be. Consider yourself blessed.
9. I need coffee.
You haven't even finished your second cup. This is what you get for sleeping at 3 a.m. when you have a 9 a.m. class, forgetting to factor in the hour and a half commute to get to school. You probably won't learn from your mistakes.
10. Yes, coffee.
This is your fourth cup and it isn't even 11 a.m. yet.
11. Why am I here?
Because you don't want to live with your parents for the rest of your life. It's time to get it together and get those As.
12. I'm going to pass this class.
You're positive outlook is cute and needed. You can get those As only if you believe in yourself.
13. I'm going to fail this class.
So you took a closer look at the syllabus and saw how much work is involved in a three-credit course. But don't give up, it's only the first day. You still have several months of torture ahead.
1. Don't forget to call mom and dad!
You’re growing up and making new experience but your parents are growing old. Call home even if it's to tell them that you love them or that you tripped in front of the whole class...again. They may annoy you from time to time with their lectures but remember it's because they love you! Remember that you need them even more than ever before, even though you may not think so. They have always been your biggest support system. Love them before you lose them.
2. It’s okay to leave people behind
People come and go.Yes it hurts and it will never be easy but people can and do drain you. Don't let them! As much as you love/care about them. That doesn’t mean to completely cut them off and ignore them, it just means remember to know your worth and respect yourself. If they don’t respect you enough to value your time/effort, are they really worth it?
3. People do not know what they are doing in life so it's okay if you don't either!
If they say they do they are lying. People may act like they have their lives together but no one truly does. Life is just so unexpected and you can never be prepared for what is to come. This means it's okay for you to not know what you're doing or want to do with the rest of your life.
At the end of the day you need to take care of yourself in every aspect. That means feeding your body healthy food (even if it's one carrot every week), exercising to distress or to get that nice bod and don't lose sleep. At the end they will all benefit you mentally, emotionally, and physically
5. Remember to pick your friends wisely
It's better to be alone than to be in bad company. Remember! Just because they act like they care doesn't mean they do. Your friends are supposed to be your support system and encourage you. They are like your guides and should help you strive to be a better person. They shouldn’t be people that hinder your growth in every area of your life OR make you feel guilty about your past mistakes. It's also okay to lose friends. That's why you adopt dogs!
6. Remember Family should always be first
Yes they are annoying and let you down sometimes but it’s true when they say that family always has your back. Always try to resolve ANY issues you have with them ASAP! Don't fight with them and keep in contact with them. They aren't perfect but they will love you unconditionally
7. Life is too short to not try new things! Just do it!
Yeah it’s a bit cliche but it’s true. Who says that you will live to see tomorrow. stop living life as if you have a future. That doesn’t mean don’t plan for the future. It just means to take advantage of the one in a lifetime opportunities that are in front of you. Yes that means reading that new book or buying that cute dress or eating something new at that one restaurant that you’ve been dying to try OR even saying yes to that date. Whatever it is Just try it and do it!
8. It’s okay to not be okay
You’re not supposed to be happy 100 percent of the time regardless of what society might tell you. Remember to just laugh at yourself and at the situation.You have a right to feel the way you do. don't let anyone diminish your feelings. If you feel sad, mad, happy, or meeeh then so be it. You don’t have to change the way you are/feel because someone doesn’t like it. Stay true to yourself.
9. Remember to take pictures of everything. Yourself, your friends, your dogs.
Even if you/they don’t look so great. It’s amazing to look back and see how much you have lived. You’re so busy trying to live life that you don’t realize that everything and everyone is changing. Pictures are memories so take them!! Then maybe you can finally make that scrapbook.
10. Remember to write everyday!
Even if it’s just one sentence or a quotes. Make time to write about your day and your experiences. It’s thrilling to relive the good/bad moments in your life and to read all your accomplishments. You’ll thank me later.
11. Spend money on experiences not objects
I know...I know.. just spending money in general makes you cringe, but honestly experiences are worth it. Even if it is something so simple such as going to Chinatown or skydiving or maybe even a rave LED or a Drake concert please do it!
12. Don't criticize people's music taste. Just listen and allow your playlist to grow!
Bad or good. Whatever it is! In fact there is no such thing as bad music. Everyone has a different opinion of it and that means do not criticize it. Don’t tell them that they have “bad” taste in music! There is a reason that song is their favorite song or that artist is their favorite artist. You love the music you listen to for a reason. You don’t know if that song is getting them through something in life.The thing is you only what you are going through so do not make them feel guilty for liking that Drake song or that “The 1975” new single. Just listen to all genres and allow your playlist to grow. Don't forget to dance to it as well.
13. Always clean your room or try to keep it clean!
It may be difficult, especially when life is hectic but it does make a difference! Rearranging/cleaning your room can change your mood/life seriously! Remember that your room is a representation of your life, remember the quote "If my room is a mess, my life is a mess" so try to always keep it clean.
14. Remember to just enjoy life
Regardless of where you are in life enjoy it. You will never be this young in life again. You will never have this much time ever again. You will never experience things twice. So even if you are at your lowest in life, know that you have to go through this to really appreciate the hard times (as painful as it may be) and the good times (even if eventually they bring sad memories, you were happy at the moment at that’s what counts). Even if you haven’t accomplished all that you want for yourself just enjoy life. Appreciate everyone that is around or all of the people that left. It’s okay to miss people (dead or living), to fail that test, or lose $100. Even if all you did today was throw out the trash or shower, enjoy every second of it. Yes enjoy taking out the trash, see as it an adventure because you’re finally leaving your cave!!
With much love and best of luck,
The Old me
P.S. Remember to pet one dog a day because it keeps the Doctor away <3
1. Communicating via email can be awkward.
Without seeing your face, people will often assume you’re the other gender and address you as such, often beginning an email using the wrong article.
2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.
“What time was your appointment?”
“2:00!”
“2:00…?”
“Yes, 2:00.”
“Are you sure?”
3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.
Being asked to repeat yourself, accompanied with a very confused face, is the norm.
4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.
It would just be so much easier if my name were a “typical” boy/girl name.
5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.
“Your parents must be very interesting. Is there a cool story behind it? Why did they name you that? Are you named after a famous ancestor? Is there any meaning to it?” No.
6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.
I’m not the only one! Let’s be friends!
7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.
Nice to meet you… I guess…
8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”
Oh. Okay. That’s nice.
9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.
Hahaha, no. It’s a sensitive topic.
10. People are surprised when they see you.
“Oh, I thought you were a boy/girl.”
“Well. I’m not…”
What is someone supposed to say to that?
11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.
Their name is Mackenzie and I can’t find them on Facebook! Do I address the email Mr. or Ms.???
12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.
“Why did you name me this?! You don’t understand the struggle!”
13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.
Yes, you have an “atypical” name, but that’s rare and awesome and you’re fierce.
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