Twenty-three of you didn’t want me, twenty-three. I can still hear you saying goodbye for the last time, or even the sound of my trash bag full of clothes being thrown out the front door. Hearing it twenty-three times in different ways. Some of you decided to go the “pity me” route and tell them that I was an awful child, that I was out of control and couldn’t be taken care of. Please just explain to me how a seven-year-old can be so awful. Or some of you went the path of lying and say that you just aren’t going to foster anymore so you must get rid of me. Then you later find out that you are taking care of another little girl. Was I not good enough, was it because I missed my mom? I tried to forget about her but you were the one who reminded me every day that I was going to end up just like her, rotting in prison. What hurt me the most was when you would hurt me so bad that I would have to be pulled out of your home. You got paid to abuse me, you told me I was just an income to you. I can still hear those words. I hear them every time an adult figure wants to get close to me, or when someone wants to try and nurture me. I hear you saying how worthless I am and how I deserve no one. What makes me so infuriated is that you have said those vile things to other children. Children who have no one on their side but you. This what you got paid for and you couldn’t even accomplish that. I am not going to lie and try to make myself sound tough because that will not help anyone. You hurt me in so many more ways than you probably imagined. You thought those times you hit me or didn’t feed me just affected me then but I now flinch every time someone tries to touch me and eat my food in 2.5 seconds. You didn’t think I would still cry every night thinking about the things you said. I go to sleep remembering that I am not wanted. I fear basements because of you. You took my childhood away and I want to let you know I have never gotten it back. The thing is though, you didn’t win, I did. I am now eighteen years old going to college like you said I couldn’t. I now live in an apartment, when you said I’d be homeless. I am surrounded by so many amazing friends who have given me a substantial amount of family, which you said I would never achieve. I work full time at a job I put my heart and soul into, which you of course told me I would never be able to hold one. I have proven you wrong, I won. I am not angry with you; I am hurt but that will eventually pass. The main thing I must say is thank you. You made me realize the type of person I didn’t want to be when I grew up, thank you.
Recommended for you
1. When you see each other after a hiatus it is like no time has passed.
Regardless of what you may have gone through, nothing can change the banter and personal communication you and your friends share. Nothing feels awkward or forced because you are having too much fun catching up!
2. You plan your outings around each other's schedules.
Your friend's work schedules or class schedules are memorized like the back of your hand. They are your priority, and you will do anything you can to get them to join you on adventures when it is convenient to do so.
3. You say 'I love you' on the phone.
Yes, you may say it in real life too, but saying it after a phone call means it has become a customary for you to validate your appreciate for one other. Like a significant other or family member, you feel the desire to express your love at the end of a conversation.
4. Nothing is boring when you are together.
No matter what you do together, you always have a good time. Why? Because your friends' company is all you need. With the right people, you can make any situation memorable.
5. You share weird inside jokes no one else understands.
And you would like to keep it that way. If you are anything like my friend group, we share a strange family dynamic that has lasted as a running joke forever. No matter what it is, your inside jokes and sly smirks will keep the spirits up for ages.
6. You plan to hang out for a couple hours but end up together the entire day.
So now you just expect it and prepare for a 24-hour long get-together. Naps are often a part of the agenda.
7. The hugs say a thousand words.
Perhaps you do it a little too much, but the hugs you share are always meaningful and comforting. Gotta love those group hugs especially!
8. You go on spontaneous adventures together.
It is where your favorite memories come from. Even though you might not be able to do them as much as you would like, you are always down for a trip, big or small, with the group.
9. You consider each other family.
Because you consider each other family, you treat each other like family. Constant love, constant support, and a tremendous amount of meals spent together.
10. They make you a better person.
It is not a special friend group unless you learn from one another. You had to be selective when choosing your friends and when you did, you felt like they could teach you a thing or two. Their actions influence who you are and you could not be more thankful.
11. You can't imagine life without them.
The very thought scares you and sends your heart racing. Thankfully, the ultimate friend group is right there with you so you never have to second-guess their loyalty. Instead, you can bask in the glory that is your ultimate friend group. #squadgoals.
1. No school = no stress.
There are no essays to write, no books to read, and no deadlines to meet. The only worry in the world is keeping track of putting sunblock on.
2. Country music is more fun to listen to.
All true fans will listen to country music 365 days a year, but we all know that it's so much better in the summer when you can roll down the windows.
3. Your skin looks and feels better.
Even if you don't have the type of skin that tans, there is more color there than in the winter ... maybe. Freckles, tan lines, peeling burns and clear skin make for a happier camper. You'll forget all about the ghost version of yourself that was shedding dry skin like a snake over the winter.
4. Being barefoot 24/7 is an option.
Obviously wearing no shoes in the middle of a blizzard isn't acceptable. You know what is, though? Wearing no shoes in the summer ever because why not?
5. Ice cream is an acceptable snack.
For people like me who can't resist ice cream even on a 10 degree day, summer is a giant ice cream blessing. Not only does it taste like heaven, it's actually refreshing.
6. Minimal clothing is required.
Is there anything worse than having to put on layers in the wintertime only to sweat to death the minute you come back inside? No need for more than a tank top and shorts in the summertime.
7. Going to the beach daily isn't weird.
Now that it's hot, it's beach season. If you live near the ocean there is an excuse to drive there day or night, rain or shine. Staying there all day is an option for those who don't burn, and for those who do, you can always come back at night for a bonfire.
8. Cookouts.
Even when they lead to disaster, summertime cookouts are the best. Nothing completes a cookout more than watermelon and corn on the cob.
9. Night swimming.
Oh the thrill of jumping in freezing cold water in the middle of the night. Good thing the air becomes colder than the water, making the pool like a giant bathtub.
10. Spontaneous adventures.
Summertime gives you the freedom to wake up in the morning and decide to do something totally out of the blue that you've never done before. Hiking to a waterfall, rock climbing, going to a museum, or even road tripping are all great summer options.
Even if the heat isn't really your thing, it's undeniable to admit that life really is better in the summer. There's so much more free time, opportunity, excitement and sunshine. Only four months to go!
Trending Topics
Trending Stories
Best of Relationships
![12 Things To Do On A Snow Day]()
![a room with boxes and a window]()
![April Ludgate]()
