I remember the day like it was yesterday. The day before move-in day. I sat there with you on the couch, as I normally did, and thought about what life would be like without you. I wasn't ready to say goodbye and I could tell that you weren't either. I held you that night longer than I ever have before, as I let out a heartfelt goodbye that you mostly likely didn't understand. Then move-in day came along and we went our separate ways. The look you gave me as I slowly walked out the door was one that I will never forget. Bewilderment with a mixture of empathy for my sadness. As I began to adjust to my new life without you, I was constantly reminded that you "seemed sadder since I left," and I was left heartbroken at the pain that I caused you.

Time went on, and it got a little easier. I began to form new relationships and friendships that allowed to forget how much I missed you. I never realized that the more I began to forget about you and love my life in college, the more you were forced to grow accustomed to me not being around you. I may have learned to live without you, but you never knew what it was like to live without me. I came back for breaks and was immediately met with your love care, as if I never left in the first place. Those wounds you held onto for so long were long gone, only to be re-opened the minute I left again for school.

And now, here we are. I find myself at a point in which I realize just how much you meant to me and how much I meant to you, and am filled with nothing but remorse. You loved me unconditionally, not just because I was your source of food and occasional play, but because you didn't know anything else but love. I took that love for granted because of how busy I kept my life. Whether it was working or hanging out with friends, I never spent enough time with you at home. You were once again forced to go about your day as if I wasn't around anymore, even though I easily could have been. I wish I would've realized just how much I didn't deserve you. Looking back on that day before I said goodbye for the first time, to now, I can only think about the things that I should have done a little differently. If I had known, I would have come home more, I would have stayed home longer and spent more time with you. Nothing can ever replace the love that you showed me, and the joy that your ridiculous antics provided for me and our family. The memories we have of you will be something that I won't forget for a long time. I know that I cannot change time, but if I could I would go back to that day and hold you just little tighter.