Congratulations on your marriage; I was the woman in the navy dress that came alone. I sat at the assigned table you sat me at; I watched you dance your first dance, and kiss your husband every time someone rang their silver knife against a champagne glass. I brought a present, I signed the damn guest book, I ate the chicken.
You know what else I did? I WORKED. While you cried over your father’s shoulder to a sad melody that somehow summarized the entirety of your gratitude, I responded to emails and e-filed paperwork. I am 21 years old, and work under four separate job titles. I am a full-time student earning a BFA. I spent $12 in gas to travel from my house, to your wedding reception, and back again. The cake was delicious.
I’m not blaming you for being in love, hell, that’d be insane. I do blame you for sitting me at the same table as our old high school friends, and their two year old.
However, as I watched you drink expensive champagne with your new husband, I couldn’t help but feel sad. I’m 21 and i’ve never had a serious boyfriend. Hell, i’ve never been properly kissed! I want nothing more than to settle down, but I chose my career instead.
I choose to work my butt off at everything I do; I don’t give up, and I rarely say no. I even hold job titles that I don’t get paid for, and I use the excuse, “it builds my resume,” or “at least I’m getting my foot through the door.” On the weekends, I binge-watch Netflix while writing and editing blog articles.
The worst part is that I am somewhere in-between dating, and academia. I’m not completely severed from either side, but I am partial to both. The sad part is that I envy you, bride, and I envy the 23 year old living in Boston who has three prestigious jobs and gets published by a journal every three months. Both seem so far away from my grasp, so I stay busy and fill my time with paperwork and stressful planning.
Congratulations on your marriage; I wish you nothing but happiness. Thanks for the candy bar to-go bag, I am currently eating Cadbury mini-eggs while writing this entry. Your centerpieces were beautiful. Your dress, was beautiful. I hope you enjoy the salt and pepper shakers.
