Hi,
It's been a while. Remember when we talked all day, every day? Crazy that it's been two years. Remember how we were obsessed with each other? I remember how happy I felt, thinking I was on top of the world and that there was nothing that could ever hurt me. I remember my friends saying that they didn't trust you, and I shook it off as it was nothing. I let month after month go by, thinking that how you were treating me was OK. You got mad at me for wanting to spend time with my friends. I can't name a single friend that I made that year, and I can name so many more that I lost.
I wouldn’t say that you were the worst decision I have ever made. I believe that letting myself be treated so badly for so long was a bad decision. I let you make me push away the people that meant the most to me in my life because you didn’t like me having those relationships. My family, the backbone of who I am, were people you believed you took priority over. To you, my sitting down and eating dinner with them was the worst thing that could happen. Family dinners were the things I looked forward to, considering I never got to spend time with them due to a hectic schedule.
I remember the amount of times I sat in your car, crying because I did something that made you embarrassed to be with me. I never knew that I was the only one with a boyfriend who would get mad at—and embarrassed over—being with his girlfriend. I never realized how much I contained who I actually was for that year. I let you manipulate me and take the person I was away from me. I let the happy bubbly person I was be pushed under the rug, to never return. I became the fake persona that you wanted me to be.
You put on a show for everyone else. You were so nice around everyone else. But once we were alone, you were so two-faced. I was scared to be alone with you. I was so scared of being mentally and emotionally hurt that I would do anything to make sure that nothing would spark a flame and lead to another thing I did wrong, or lead to you ridiculing something that I loved and you hated. I was afraid that so much more bad would happen. It took so much time to realize that I deserved so much more, that I could be the person I used to be. Thank you for making me realize that I could have it all, all on my own.
Sincerely,
The one you used to know
