Dear stranger,
Well, here I am again, thinking about old times despite the fact that you haven't acknowledged my existence in months. I can't believe I'm allowing myself to put this out there, but I needed some way to get these feelings out. You probably won't even read this, and if you do, you most likely won't care. But in the slight chance that you somehow stumble upon my article, a part of me hopes that you don't write me off as a "crazy ex," but I have some things I'd like to say that you never gave me the opportunity to.
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First off, I'll never understand how our breakup came so painfully abruptly. One week we're doing so well, truthfully happy as can be; the next week you're picking me up and telling me you "can't do this anymore." What changed in seven days? What did I do wrong? Why had you never communicated any of these negative emotions with me? I'm disappointed that you wouldn't even try to fight for us. I'm disappointed that you gave up so easily. I'm disappointed in myself for still being hung up on this.
But out of all the disappointments I experienced about us, I'm mostly disappointed that you were capable of cutting me out of your life so effortlessly. Your ability to enter my life, make an incredible impact, then completely depart astonishes me. What happened to everything we went through? All the nights we'd hang out with all of your friends that I thought became mine as well, the lazy days watching "Bob's Burgers" in your apartment, the road trips to see our favorite artists in concert, and all the other details and memories that stitched together our bond. It's not fair that you got to move on so quickly and smoothly, and I'm still having trouble being totally comfortable with the way we ended.
Every time I see you around, I feel like someone punched me in the stomach and my hands won't stop shaking for half an hour. And it's not even that I'm simply just caught up on what we used to have, but rather that you never gave me the closure I deserved. You decided you didn't want me around anymore so much that you wouldn't even give me a good explanation as to why. I understand that it didn't feel right for you to be with me anymore, and that's absolutely fine -- I can't have any hard feelings for you doing what you feel is best. However you failed to treat me like a decent human being for old times' sake, and that's what hurt me the most.
But out of all the things I've said in this letter, the following is the most important. Being fully honest and vulnerable, after you left, I missed who I was when I was with you. You helped to excavate parts of me that I didn't quite know existed, and when you were no longer around, I assumed those pieces of me weren't either. But I learned that this is not this case, and I am thankful for that. Despite the fact that we didn't work out too well, you taught me how to be someone that I love, someone that I am proud of, someone who I never want to not be. So for that, I am appreciative. Whatever endeavors you are up to now, I wish you happiness, and I thank you for helping me find happiness within myself.
Sincerely,
RH
