You told me you read the letter I wrote to the girl you cheated on me with. Many people did. While it felt wonderful to know that others needed to hear my words, so many of them kept telling me it wasn't her fault. They told me that it was yours, and that my words were misdirected, as though I was unaware of the fact that you were the one who left me broken and confused.

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They told me I should have written a letter to you instead, but what they didn't know was that I already had.

I wrote you a letter in March. And then I rewrote it, and I rewrote it again. I didn't know how I was feeling, and I wasn't ready to share that with the world, until today.

Now I know that I can send this, and I pray that other girls will see this letter and know that they're not the only ones with wounds from people they loved. I hope that through them, you'll see it, because the Lord knows I don't have the strength to pen your address and send it myself.

So here they are; my last words to you:

You know when you go to the movies or read a good book, and you feel that magical feeling of being completely pulled into the story? When you walk out of the theater or close that book after the end, you feel lost. Why do you think that is? Why do we feel lost?

It's because we fell in love with characters that never existed.

And that's why I felt so lost. I fell in love with a man who never existed, and my memories are fictional characters who peeled off of pages I never should have read.

The boy I fell in love with? He was a lie. He was a falsity that you created, a mask you wore when we were together to hide the struggles you were afraid to speak of. What frustrates me most is that I don't know which parts of you were real and which were not, which words were honest and which were blatant lies.

Some days, that still aches, and I've finally come to terms with the fact that you will make my heart ache.

Do you know what that means, though? I'm human. I have the capacity to love so deeply and to feel so much in such a passionate way. If I can love a lie that much, how much more will I be able to love the man I end up with?

Before now, I thought that the way I continued to feel about you was weak, but I have come to realize that the love I held was not weakness, but strength. It was a beautiful quality that set me apart from anyone else you had ever loved.

I want to tell you three things.

First, thank you.

Thank you for reminding me of my self-worth and for teaching me that it's alright to love myself, because I am worth loving.

Thank you for caring for me for so many months and bringing me happiness, regardless of the way things ended.

Thank you for wanting me for the short time you did, because it increased my confidence.

Thank you for teaching me new skills, making me try new things, and showing me new perspectives on life.

Second, I'm praying for you.

I pray that you will find a way to love well and stay faithful.

I pray that you will do well in your life.

I pray that you find happiness and that you find yourself in the One who has been my saving grace throughout the aftermath of our relationship.

Lastly, I'm not sorry.

While I am thankful and prayerful towards you, I make no apologies to you, because finally I can look in the mirror and realize the pain that I have experienced isn't my fault.

I'm not sorry for the time it has taken me to heal.

I'm not sorry for wondering about you.

I'm not sorry that I loved you.

I'm not sorry that I lost you, and finally, I'm not sorry that I found myself when you lost me.

So to the boy I thought I loved, and thought I would spend my life with; you set me free, and for that I am thankful, prayerful, and fully unapologetic.

Finally, I have the courage to write the word I should have written to you long, long ago.

Goodbye.

With all of the love and respect you deserve,

Me