Dear Best Friend,

What happened to us? I’m not sure when it happened, why it happened or even how it happened, but we seem to be strangers now. We told each other everything. Every secret, every detail, every minor event and every major milestone. Now I’m lucky if you say hello to me.

When we were little, we were inseparable. In fact, we were inseparable up until the past couple of months. That’s when things changed. Your daily phone calls turned into every other day. Every other day turned into weekly. Weekly turned into bi-weekly. And bi-weekly turned into once a month. And now? Now we never call each other.

When you had your first kiss, I was the person you told first. We giggled about it—squealed like stereotypical girls. We overthought every action, every movement and every text response he sent back. And as you progressed further and further in your athletics, I was with you every step of the way. I was always on the sidelines, ready with the towel and water. I was there when you needed the nod of encouragement, and I was there with the loudest scream when you accomplished the unthinkable.

When that stupid guy decided to be an asshole, I was there, holding you. I told you he was stupid, you were better than what he ever gave you and held you in my arms. We trash talked him, we thought of ways to get revenge, and I made you laugh. As your life came tumbling down, I caught the falling pieces, holding them preciously in my hands until they could mend themselves. I lent my listening ear and gave supportive hugs, just like I always had since we were kids.

It might be selfish of me but I wanted you to be here for me. I needed you as much as you needed me. I wanted you to be here for me to call you for my highest highs and lowest lows. I wanted you to be my rock, the person I could lean on and the best friend that we each vowed to be for each other.

The sad part is, I truly don’t think you’ve realized what you’ve done. You have new friends. You have a job. And we’re just at two different stages in life, miles apart. Our friendship still exists but now it’s just through Instagram likes and forced meetings, usually planned by our mothers. Years of friendship, promises, inside jokes, sleepovers, drunken endeavors, accomplishments and countless other things, and this is what our friendship is.

No matter how hard it is for me to swallow that I don’t have you to count on right now, that I don’t have anyone to share with how hard it is to be a college athlete because I know you would understand. Or how hard it is to not have anyone to talk about my boy troubles, academic struggles or drunken nights like I would with you. Although we are seemingly nothing but acquaintances now, I will always be here for you.

When your world comes crashing down, I’ll be here. At some point, you’ll realize the people you’re with right now won’t be your forever. And when you do, I’ll be waiting for you because it’s what best friends do.

Until then,

Your best friend through thick and thin, no matter what.