I believe that everyone is a writer.

We all write our own stories every single day.

I just so happen to write these stories that are perfectly painted from the angle that they should be read from.

I write about people who can’t see their own strengths or beauty.

I write to change something inside someone for the better,

but sometimes I forget to write about my own pain, my own strengths, and my own beauty.

So, for the people who say that I inspire them...here’s a story that I wrote by myself; for myself, in order to remember why I chose to write in the first place.

I am hours away from everything I ever knew.

There’s a boy and yes he’s new.

He keeps telling me that he loves me more than anything,

but here’s the thing...that’s what you said too.

I could count the times you taught me how to speak instead of think.

You taught me how to paint the cover of a book called life.

You taught me why it’s crucial to never judge one by it’s cover,

but you never taught me how to read the book itself.

And maybe that’s why I’m a writer.

In hopes that one day..

you’ll actually pick up the book and read each word

and see things for how they actually are

instead of how they appear.

In hopes that one day..

you’ll stop painting a cover that doesn’t match your book.

Lately, my heart has been full of so much anger.

The world has never been kind to souls like mine,

but recently it feels especially cruel.

I almost allowed myself to get pulled into its deceptions and challenges,

but somewhere amongst the pain I realized that I wasn’t even reading my own book anymore.

I was looking at the cover.

I was trying to paint a new cover.

A cover that resembled something you would want to read,

but then I remembered...you don’t even read.

So, why should I try to change anything about the story that I want to write?

There’s more to my story than trying to make you proud.

There’s more to life than broken homes and back roads.

There’s more to life than all the pain you’ve caused.

If there was a color that could describe how I feel about you...it would undoubtedly be blue.

I don’t mean that in the way that you make me feel sad or damaged.

I mean that in the way, that when the ocean waves rise up just to crash down and collide, they remind me of you.

I mean that in the way, that even when the waves calmly roll and ripple onto the shore, they still remind me of you.

The ocean can be it’s own kind of war at times.

Simply fighting a battle within itself.

A passionate; rage, filled battle just trying to make it through the storm.

It doesn’t mean to engulf the ships just floating by.

It doesn’t mean to unleash a butterfly effect for the people who were submerged under its waves.

It doesn’t mean all the pain that follows the storm and neither do you.

We knew it was capable of this damage

Before we choose to set sail.

Right about now someone is thinking, “That doesn’t exactly relate to me”.

Yeah, I’m sure if you’re analyzing every detail of what you’re going through that you will never find an article, story, poem, or quote that feels exactly how you do.

And trust me, I’ve been there.

I’ve been up till 3 am looking at quotes on pinterest and never being quite satisfied.

But the truth is,

You’ll never be able to read a quote from someone else and have it be a dead on comparison to what you feel, because all quotes are made up of words.

Words that come from a person who has a voice.

Just like you do.

So why not speak up yourself?

Because no one can quite possibly ever have the capability to sum up the amount of suffering your heart is going through.

You are on a path that is all your own.

The road before you was not your own,

just simply one you had to start with.

We all have to start somewhere..

That "where" is never based on your decision or your desire

and to be honest with you,

I don’t know who or what, “places” you, "where" you start,

but I do know that everyone is capable of handling everything that they are dealt.

You just have to remind yourself of that

When life starts to get hard that means that you are in the middle of someone else's path

and you have to change in order to continue down yours

or back up and allow them to go first.

I got my heartbroken by the person that I have looked up to

my entire life…

And for the first time

I wished that he would have felt all of my pain.

Every single broken heartbeat that made my throat tighter and made taking deep breathe harder and harder.

All of my hurt.

Every headache that I got just trying to think of how you could act in such a ruthless; uncaring manner.

All of my disappointment.

Every tear wasted over wondering why I wasn’t enough.

But than it dawned upon me that no matter how I painted the picture…

It was still only a cover.

Because souls like mine don't ever wish pain upon someone else's’.

I’m tired of re-painting the cover, for a chapter that's already been written.

I need there to be a quote for the people who get caught up in someone else's storm.

For the people who understand the storm.

I need there to be a quote for the people who are falling in love after they’ve escaped the storm.

For the people who are afraid of a new kind of storm.

I need there to be a quote for the people who can see my storm.

For the people who dare fall in love with me and the storm.

I need there to be a quote for the people who miss my storm.

For the people who saw the rainbow through the rain during the storm.

I need there to be something great that comes out of this pain.

Cause if nothing else…

I’d know it was worth it.

So if you must know the truth,

I have no idea what I’m doing.

I appreciate the silence around me.

I appreciate the people who take away the silence

and acknowledge the ones who keep the silence.

Still, I have no plan or will.

But maybe that's okay for right now.

I’ve had to fight to get to where I’m at for as long as I can remember.

So, for right now.

I’m gonna sit down.

I’m gonna breathe.

I’m gonna write about all the pain that I have come encounter with.

I’m gonna write about how he let me down.

I’m gonna write about all the heartache that I’ve felt.

I’m gonna write about how it felt to walk away from him.

I’m gonna write about all the goodbyes I’ve had to make.

I’m gonna write about breaking my bestfriends heart.

I’m gonna write about all that I’m thankful for.

I’m gonna write about my friends and my mom.

I’m gonna write about all the changes I’ve had to make.

I’m gonna write about standing up for myself.

I’m gonna write about all the things that scare me.

I’m gonna write about the idea or concept of love.

I’m gonna write about all the ideas that are floating around in my head.

I’m gonna write about you.

I’m gonna write about everything.

Because it’s time for someone else to hear that it’s okay to not know what the hell life is or where you’re going.

That no matter how normal, boring, thrilling, or even perfect your life may be...that your path; your struggle, is all connected to everything you surround yourself with.

And even reading this connects your story to mine right now.

Because for the last one thousand three hundred and sixty one words I’ve managed to keep your attention and allowed you to feel the beauty, the anger, the sorrow, and the inspiration that my story carries.

Regardless, if you agreed with my words…

You still imagined a cover of a book.

You still saw the blue in the ocean.

You still tried to relate to some sort of, “storm”.

You still felt the heavy amount of ideas that I have in my head.

I took you to a place that only writers can go and yet you felt something.

Something unique to you.

So, paint the cover of your book,

But remember that the words that fill your book matter too.

You just have to start writing them.