Once upon a time, you were an important person in my life. I did something to change that, and you never found it in your heart to forgive me. It was a mistake that I wish I could take back a million times. I’ve learned to accept the fact that we could never go back to what we were, but if our friendship was that amazing it would not have been that easy for you to throw away. We were supposed to be there for each other, no matter what. You made mistakes in the past, and I forgave you, but when it came to me you did not even hesitate to throw it all away. So this is my letter to you, to tell you everything I never said.

Dear ghost from my past,

I never could express how much regret and guilt I felt after I did what I did, but I tried to show you regardless. I cannot tell you how many times I have replayed that situation in my head, and wonder why I didn’t realize I was about to make a mistake. I’m still sorry about what happened to this day. However, I will not continue to beat myself up for the mistake I have apologized for. A long time ago you said you forgave me, but as I see you walking around giving me ugly glares, I realized you never really forgave me. I feel bad for you that you allow all that hatred for me to stay in your heart; it will only affect you in the future. I can deal with you hating me, and the whispers about me, but you are the one who is holding on to a bad situation. Unfortunately, I cannot change what has already happened, there is no time machine I can get in to undo what I did. I apologize that I hurt you, and lost your trust, but how long do I have to pay for it?

Although what happened was a huge mistake on my part, I do not deserve to be treated the way you continue to treat me. After three years I thought you would have moved on my now, since your actions prove otherwise; I guess you will have to deal with that. Our friendship was great while it lasted, but everything happens for a reason. I never asked you to welcome me back in your life with open arms, I just asked for your forgiveness. I thought we could act cordial towards one another, after everything we went through together. Since you are obviously not over it, there is nothing more I can do. I did not blame you for being angry with me, and I still don't. I did not expect you to forget so quickly, trust me I haven’t let myself forget it. I guess you continue to try to hurt me because deep down you are hurting inside still. Instead of saying that you forgave me, and pretending that everything was okay you should have been honest. I’m not a bad person, I just had a temporary lapse in judgment, and made a bad mistake. I was always taught that everyone deserves forgiveness. Even the people like you, who cannot forgive after they themselves have been forgiven.

All I ever wanted was the best for you, even though at one point my actions did not show it. I will no longer hang my head low, drive myself crazy about it, or worry about repeating my mistake. I’ve learned a valuable lesson out of the whole situation, and you taught me a lesson also. You taught me that there will be people in my life that will hold grudges against me, but now I know how to handle that. I love myself enough to know what I did was wrong, but I’m human. I take full responsibility for my actions, and the hurt I've caused you. On the other hand, I cannot let this mistake follow me for the rest of my life. I am going to make a lot more mistakes along the course of my life, so therefore, I cannot keep harping on this one. I often pray for you & your family, and I have never and will never wish bad things on you. You are a big part of my past, and I will never forget that. Since I now know that I will never get forgiveness from you, I choose to finally forgive myself. I’ve also asked God for forgiveness, and I believe that he has forgiven me; that is enough for me to move on. I just wanted to let you know that I forgive you for not forgiving me, and I’m officially moving on. My mind, and heart are at ease now, I hope one day you feel this relief also. My past mistakes will not define me any longer.

Sincerely,

A person you used to know