Dear pollen,

When did you decide to make my car your breeding ground? I do not recall you asking for permission. I understand you are just doing your job, but come on, why are we so incompatible?

You make me sneeze. You make me rub my eyes until they practically bleed. I am just wondering if you try to purposely make me sneeze uncontrollably at the worst times possible.

I try to appreciate the flowers and trees, however, they do not appreciate me. You are like plants' security system, and you do a good job at keeping me away. I wouldn't dare even look at a flower. Blowing a dandelion to make a wish would most likely put me in anaphylactic shock.

By the way, are you stalking me? Everywhere I go, you are always there. I even see you in my bed sometimes... you infiltrate the air I need to breathe. Not to mention, you are obsessed with making me sneeze. Who enjoys making people's eyes red and itchy?

It must be nice being you. Not only do you bathe in flower nectar all day, but you vacation anywhere you please and get free transportation from the bees. If no bees are available, you have no issue riding on "Spring Breeze airlines" and flying right through my hair.

Excuse me for being the interruption to delay your flight. It seems you are also pretty good with the ladies. You bounce around from flower to flower sprinkling your yellow powder everywhere in order to produce new seeds.

However, it must be hard dealing with so many pregnant flowers! I can imagine they are quite needy.

You are really strong this year. There must have been a lot of hiring in the winter off-season. The pollen industry is really booming. Is there a new boss in charge? Global warming seems to be great for your business. Like most businessmen, you do an amazing job at irritating everyone.

Thank you for strengthening my relationship with tissues. During the spring, a box of tissues and I go together like cookies and milk. I wouldn't dare go out without a few tissues by my side. I guess tissues are just the new spring trendy accessory.

Also, thanks for all the blessings! When you make me sneeze over and over, people feel obligated to bless me. It really puts me on the spot, but I should start counting my blessings.

I have battled you every spring, and I always lose. Not even your biggest enemies; Claritin, Allegra or Zyrtec can stop you from your vicious attacks. Every year, I hope we can work out our differences, but unfortunately, you do not feel the same way. I will be waiting if you ever come around.

Sincerely,

Seasonal allergy survivor