To me,

I guess it’s one of those days again. Maybe someone said something that hurt me more than they realized. Maybe something happened that feels as if it can never be fixed. Or maybe I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed today and don’t even feel like getting up.

Sometimes it seems like my whole world is falling apart around me and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. Sometimes I feel like I am a complete mess, and I will never amount to anything. Sometimes I just feel like I am not good enough.

There are impossible standards projected all over every form of media. Beautiful women everywhere I turn. Tiny wastes, and long legs. These traits reflect societies standards, but not mine.

I just need to focus on the positive. No matter how many things there are working against me, there are so many more pushing me towards my goals. It’s time to get out of bed and embrace this terrible day for all it is. It’s okay to feel sorry for yourself sometimes, but it’s better to feel grateful.

I can no longer focus on the negative and overlook all the positive aspects of my life. I am beautiful. I am lucky. I am intelligent. And, I am here. I have made it this far in life, and I should be thankful for every second I am given.

Maybe it’s time to change, to start appreciating life and stop concentrating on everything that brings me down, but I’ve never been one to change my ways easily. Those things that scare you the most usually bring the most happiness. Change may be scary, but the result will be amazing. Letting go may terrify you, but once you are free you won't regret it.

I once heard a quote that really changed my perception of happiness. “I feel like people get lost when they think of happiness as a destination. But happiness is a mood and it’s a condition, not a destination; it’s like being tired or hungry, it’s not permanent. It comes and goes and that’s okay, and I feel like if people thought of it that way, they’d find happiness more often.” — One Tree Hill. Ultimately, happiness is a point of view, and not a destination. You can choose to be happy. You can choose to look at the positive side of things, and ignore the bad. You can only be as happy as you believe you have the ability to be.

It’s okay to not have your shit together; you are still young. It’s okay to part ways with negative people; you will meet new friends. It’s okay to question your relationships; there are other fish in the sea. You will have bad hours or days. You’ll have bad weeks or months. You may even have a bad year or a bad decade. But, you will only really know the bad in comparison to the good. So, cherish the good moments. It gets better. I am good enough. You are good enough. We are all good enough. And no one can tell us otherwise.

Love,

The happiest version of myself