Hey, how are you doing. If you’re reading this, you have successfully made it to 40 years old. Being twenty has been a blast so far, but there are some things that I want my future self to know. All of these things are stuff that I am currently struggling with, but hope that you will overcome, if you haven't already. I hope you have overcome all of these obstacles and are living your life to the fullest.
1. Stop Worrying
Worrying has gotten you nowhere at the age of twenty and I hope you have finally learned not to worry. Worry causes you so much stress and is NOT worth it. Things do work out in the end and I hope that you have learned. It is OK to be concerned in certain situations but worrying all the time is completely unnecessary. Stop worrying about all the little things and take the days one minute at a time.
2. Have Faith in Others
I know that throughout your life, you have always given some crappy people the benefit of the doubt and they ended screwing you over in the end. I hope you have learned that although some people aren’t the best for you, there are still good people out there. I hope you have put faith in your friendships, relationships, etc. throughout the years. You may have had a lot of trust issues by the time you were 20 years old, but by now I hope you have learned to let things go and learned to have faith in people.
3. Stop Caring About What Others Think
This was probably your biggest problem growing up. It is normal for people to feel a little self conscious about stuff, you on the other hand let it rule your life. I hope you have learned to LET IT GO. By this stage in your life, you should stop caring what others think and focus on you and your family. The only opinion that matters is your own. Don’t worry about what others think, worry about being happy and living your life.
4. Be Your Own Person
Growing up, you always found it so hard to be alone, I really hope you are over this now. We all need a little alone time here and there. Whether it is to catch up with your friends or just relaxing, it is very necessary. You know at 20, it does kind of suck to be alone, but it is something you need to learn. There are so many activities that you can do that you love! I hope you’re embracing the alone time because at this point in your life you may not be getting much of it.
5. Don't Let Anyone Change Your Values or Beliefs
Fitting in is something you were adamant about in your younger days, but I REALLY hope that has changed by now. You used to change your mind in what you truly believed in, just so you can fit in with others. That better have changed. I hope you have learned to embrace who you really are. You are an amazing person and have so many pure values and beliefs, stick with them! Don’t let anyone influence you!
6. Do What Makes You Happy
Instead of always being worried about what other people may think, I hope you have learned to make decisions that make you happy. You are the only person that matters. I mean sure by this point in your life, you may be married or have a family, but to make others happy, happiness has to start with yourself. So instead of choosing a major that your parents decided for you or going to a school because of your friends or significant other, step outside your comfort zone and DO YOU! You deserve to be happy!
7. Forgive Yourself
At 20, you take the blame for stuff that isn’t even your fault. You are constantly apologizing for little things, and guess what girlfriend, that needs to stop! We all make mistakes and are human beings, but don’t let your decisions make or break you. Throughout the next 20 years, you will have to make decisions or do things you may or may not want to do. Instead of letting your mistakes bother you, forgive yourself. Being able to forgive yourself is a very strong characteristic to have. It truly takes a lot to forgive yourself, but it is possible. Stop thinking everything is your fault, even the stuff that you have no power over. If you do think its your fault, forgive yourself and move on.
8. Start Believing in Yourself
So by now you should have a successful job, family, house, car, etc. Oh yeah, and a lot of puppies! Anyway, it is now time that you start believing in yourself. Your family and close friends have all seen how far you have come. You don’t just stop growing after you graduate but instead you grow throughout your entire life. I hope by 40, you have at least started believing in yourself and the decisions you made. I hope you aren’t still calling your mom to hear it from her. You are a great person and you need to see it for yourself!
9. If it's Meant to Be, Then it Will Be
You have met some pretty great people in your life by now I’m sure. Had some relationships where some worked and some didn’t, but if it is meant to be, it will be. Sometimes relationships go through tough patches, and that is OK, it is normal. Don’t just give up, but don’t work for something you know isn’t meant to be. You can only make yourself believe so much but in your heart you know much more. It may not be that you aren’t compatible with the person you may be with at a certain time, but may be that you both met at a time that wasn’t right for your hearts. Sometimes these things happen, but if it is true love, you will always find your way back to one another.
10. Travel
Right now I am in college and it is a little difficult to travel seeing how money is tight, but I hope since you're 40 years old, you have seen dozens of countries! I hope that you have learned to save your money and to use it to travel the world. Seeing different countries will be so great and rewarding, when I get there. Who knows, maybe by this point you have volunteered in third world countries! Travel the world and take pictures of everything you do, if you haven’t already!
Future Self, if you did read this, I hope you did do all of these things. I want you to live your life in the fullest and without regrets. These are current obstacles that you struggle with at 20 and I hope with time, you overcome. I hope that at the age of 40, your life is everything that you have expected to be, if not better.
Sincerely,
Your naive 20-year-old-self.