An Open Letter To My Upstairs Neighbor | The Odyssey Online
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An Open Letter To My Upstairs Neighbor

These assumptions are based off of the obscene amount of noise you make.

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An Open Letter To My Upstairs Neighbor
Wikimedia Commons

Hey, there neighbor,

We may not see much of each other often but I sure can hear you. I hear you in the morning when you wake me up with the sound of you falling out of bed, I hear you in the afternoon when you come stomping home from class, and I hear you at night when you and your buddies stomp around your apartment for hours on end.

Over the past couple of months, we have done quite a bit of bonding considering we are only sharing a concrete slab that functions as my ceiling and your floor. Whether it be over rhythmic communication via me banging on the ceiling, or our increasingly aggressive notes that we leave on each other's door.

I wanted to share some assumptions that I have made about you and your life while living under you for the past couple of months.

My first thought was that this was your first time living in an apartment like setting but you have managed to go beyond my prior assumptions. You have to lead me to believe that there is so much more to who you are as a person and the exciting life that you live.

The assumptions that I have made over the past couple of months could be totally wrong but these assumptions are based on the obscene amount of noise you make.

I am under the impression that you are some kind of semi-pro athlete, in not just one sport but two! I'm guessing you dedicate your free time to practicing bowling and soccer.

Being a semi-pro bowler is the only explanation for the frequent booms I hear on a daily basis, it is a boom that could only be that of a bowling ball. I've come to the conclusion that you also play soccer, this was the only logical explanation I could come up with for sound of running, followed by a slam, then a scream...gooalllll!!!!

I've also come to the conclusion that you have some pretty cool pets living up there. If I'm not mistaken, I think you have a pet elephant. There have been multiple occasions when your pet elephant has made such a ruckus that I have contemplated going upstairs to see what all the fuss is about...maybe even scratch its ears.

I am sure that you are already aware of this but your pet elephant seems to be most active between the hours of 1 a.m. to 3 a.m. and it has a knack for scaring me out of my sleep only to remind myself that it's just the neighbor's elephant.

Even though I don't see you very often, I have an idea about your taste in fashion, shoes to be more specific. Shoes made out of concrete and lead must be your go to. I have yet to see this trend take off but you must rock it!

You rock it so hard that I can hear every step you take. Yes, that's right, I hear you when you strut your stuff up and down the hall, all around your room, and on into the kitchen...

I firmly believe that you should never judge a book by its cover or in this case you should never judge a book by the sound the paper makes when you turn every single page...

I just wanted to share some of the impressions you have made on me, my ears and my ceiling if we're being specific. You make more noise than anyone I have ever met and I never know whether I should be annoyed or impressed by that.

I think you live quite an interesting life based on the noises that I hear and the things I come up with in my head when I talk myself out of going upstairs to yell at you...if none of these assumptions are relevant to your daily life, I would like to ask that you quiet down a bit...I am sure that you are a great person but you're a great person that is disturbing the peace.

So, next time I bang on the ceiling or knock on your door to ask you to quiet down, just know I still think you're a pretty cool dude.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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