Dear Dad,

I can already see you beginning to shy away from this letter. You’ve always been the humble man, never agreeing to my compliments about the wonderful father you are. This time, the only thing I ask of you is to accept what it is I am about to say and know that it comes from a deep love and a bond that only a daughter and her father could understand.

When I meet new people, they realize that I mention you a lot, but I don’t mention my mother as much. Sometimes this sparks an inquiry, and other times the conversation will lead to the divorce you and my mother went through. Soon enough, these people discover that I have lived with you, my single father, from the age of 10 years old. This information tends to shock people. After all, even though divorce has been common in my generation, living with the father has not been. I had a different circumstance, of course, and thus was raised differently than most children in divorced families.

You taught me so much growing up and molded me into the woman I am today. I remember when you ingrained into mine and my sister’s brain that we wouldn’t marry any man unless you said it was okay. It was hilarious! When I met new people with you, you would tell them, “watch this,” and then ask me, “Elizabeth, who are you going to marry?” I would proudly reply, “whoever daddy says is okay to marry!” I remember the awe in these people’s faces. It didn’t stop there. I remember when you took me on a Daddy-Daughter Date to show me how I should be treated by a man. You dressed up in a suit and you purposely drove around the block and back to our home just to pick me up by the door. My mother was living with us at the time and she told me to answer the door when you knocked. There you were, a dapper man, holding a single rose in your hand. You gently guided me to the car and opened the door for me. You listened to me babble away in my 9-year-old glory. You helped me from the car when we reached the restaurant. You held the door open for me as we walked in and you proudly said, “reservation for two, Brigham.” The nice hostess led us to our table and pulled out the chair for me. You even let me order first from the kid’s menu. You paid the bill, of course, and then went through the same chivalrous process as we went back home. I still remember that to this day, and even though it took a few bad boyfriends to figure it out, I know what to look for in a reliable man because of you.

I remember the day you helped me get my first job. You tried to get me to work at 14 years old by starting a dog-walking business, or raking leaves! I remember walking to people’s doors with you and asking them if I could rake their lawn for $5.00. This was only the beginning of teaching me good work ethic. You started to turn my chores into a job. I was promised $10.00 a week if I did all my chores on time. If I failed to do my chores my pay would be reduced. You even “fired” me from doing chores at all when I refused to take out the trash! That was when I learned the value of money. When it came to be the time to look for my first part-time job you brought me to all the possible places to work and showed me the proper way to apply. You told me to first ask for the manager and receive an application from them. I was to fill it out right then and there and hand them a resume to follow. I would then call 3-days later to ask if they had reviewed my application, and to call every 3-days to ask again. Because of this, you helped me find my first job earning $9.25 per hr. which was more than minimum wage at the time.

I remember when you taught me how to drive. There were so many arguments but eventually we got around to it. At least you were there when I failed my first driver’s test and bought me a frosty from Wendy’s to rid my tears. You even helped me get my first car. You slowly guided me through car payments until I could fully pay them on my own. You taught me how to change oil, pump gas, re-fill the wiper fluid, and pump air into the tires. You would always have me there when you worked on the issues with the car so I could see what it was you were accomplishing. You showed me how to read the manual and figure out how to support myself if ever there was a time of desperation.

Now I am grown. I am almost done with college and living on my own. I talk about you constantly, giving you credit for the many things you taught me growing up. As an adult, I now realize the struggles you had to face, raising me as a single father and trying to get by. Like the time you asked our neighbor how to French braid hair so you could prepare me for my first musical audition. Or when you actually called our aunt over to change my diaper because it was that bad! I couldn’t be more grateful to have you in my life and there is so much more I could say but I don’t think I would finish this article. I’ll always remember these times as the moments that shaped me to who I am today. Thank you Dad, for kicking ass as a single man!