I always thought you were good for me. You were making me better, and wanting me to succeed in life, but then I realized that all the things you were doing for me, you were really doing for yourself. I was your puppet on a set of strings, and you were my ventriloquist.
You wanted to mold me into your dream girl, but found it was going to be hard to do. I wasn’t exactly the person you wanted, so I tried and tried again to be that person. I thought something was wrong with me when I wasn’t making you happy, so I would wrack my mind to find ways to satisfy you.
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I became an emotional roller coaster. I was happy one moment, and the next moment, I was crying. I cried because of how much I liked you, and how little you liked me.
I started to fear losing the love I never even had, just because things were good in the first couple months. And I started over analyzing every situation to think of ways to keep you around.
Whenever my friends would ask me how we were, I never knew how to respond, and I just wanted for once to give them an answer that wasn’t complicated. I would talk about the relationship nonstop to whoever would listen, just to see if they would tell me to end the relationship. But when they did, I would tell them it isn’t as bad as it seems.
I constantly asked you if everything was okay, because nothing ever seemed to be, and I felt all I could do was give you a kiss, and everything would be okay. But it wasn’t. When you would ask me a question, I always had to defend myself, because you would get mad at me for the smallest things.
I felt inadequate to you, and felt worse about my body, heart, and mind than I did before the relationship started. You made me feel like I was fat because I didn’t work out every day, and you made me feel dumb because my major wasn't math, business, or science-related. I was always falling short of your expectations, and I started thinking I had no hope.
I started learning what words and actions triggered your anger and started revolving my life around finding the right words, and doing the right actions. I got so obsessed that when I said or did something wrong, I would immediately apologize, even when in reality, I did nothing wrong.
You made me push my limit, and my values, by pressuring me into situations that I didn’t want to do. And you ultimately affected my relationship with my family, making me resent them rather than cherish them. You were temporary, and family is forever.
But this is why I want to thank you.
Because of you, I created a stronger relationship with my family.
Because of you, I realized my body image only mattered to me, and no one else.
Because of you, I regained my confidence and I am more focused on my career.
And finally, because of you, I am single. Living my life to the fullest.
So thank you for wronging me, because I am now a better, stronger person.
