Dear Pancreas,
You had one job.
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Actually, you had several jobs, since you are both an endocrine and an exocrine organ (thank you nursing school), but you failed. You failed epically at what I consider to be your most important job: helping to keep me alive! We had 11 great years together and then all of a sudden you decide to disagree with my immune system. Well, see where that got the both of us? You don't function right and I have type 1 diabetes!
...Thank you.
There was a time that I thought absolutely nothing good could come from having diabetes. I was forced to grow up and mature quickly, and take over your job myself. I haven't been doing that great of a job, but I've had a lot of help along the way from a lot of amazing people. I wouldn't have met those people if it weren't for you, my non-functioning organ. If I had never been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, I probably wouldn't have chosen nursing as a career path, which means I probably wouldn't be here at Salve. I wouldn't have met all of my amazing friends here, I wouldn't have realized the passion I have for helping other kids with diabetes take back their lives with better management of their disease.
I thought I had my whole life planned out at 11 years old (queue snort of laughter at how naive I was). I was going to be an equine veterinarian, or a singer; at one point I was convinced I was going to be both (Singing equine vet?), but then I was so confused about how this had happened to me, and why it happened to me. I had always loved science, but thanks to you pancreas, I discovered a love for pathophysiology, and for caring for others. Nursing school is definitely NOT the easiest route I could have taken, but now I couldn't imagine my life any other way.
Someday when they find a cure and we finally see a world without diabetes in it, I know I will feel a great weight lifted off my shoulders. But I won’t regret the decisions I have made that were influenced greatly by my diabetes. Diabetes isn’t the sole factor behind all of the big life choices I have made in the last nine years, but it has been a big influence and I don’t know where I’d be today if I had a normal, properly functioning pancreas. Maybe I would have become a singing equine vet, who knows? But I do know that I am happy with where my life has taken me so far, and I’m excited to see where it leads me.
I have you to thank for all this, my pancreas. Thank you for being such a crappy organ and not doing your job. My insulin pump and other diabetes gadgets look much cooler than you anyway! I mean, have you ever seen a purple pancreas? I really hope not!
Sincerely,
Caitlin
