Here you are, coming around every so often, making my heart beating faster and faster. My body is slowly succumbing to the feelings of pure negativity. I'm trembling, I'm fearful, I'm weak, and most importantly, scared.
I try to live my life without any regrets. I live with the utmost importance that I should be fearless-- I should be enjoying simple pleasures that every day brings us. I should not be worrying about every little thing that could go wrong, actually going wrong. I am instead worrisome and so hesitant.
It's all because of you, dear mind, that I am the way I am. I understand that this is "all in my head," as to why I can't drive further than twenty minutes by myself because who knows what could happen? Or why I can't look at the positives of anything anymore because I'm just so wrapped up in the negatives of it all. It is because of you that I don't thoroughly enjoy even the most mundane tasks because I'm always thinking of the "what if's."
You know how exhausting this is? It is easy to give in and just stick to my comfort zone, my home, where I know that nothing could happen to me there. The anxiety I get on a day to day basis is getting to be too much. I can't keep living with these feelings of constant fear. I'm young, mind, I need to grip my life while I can and go after what I want. You're preventing me from truly following my goals because in my mind I can't do it, I'm just not good enough.
I need to start looking at the brighter side to everything happening here and now, and it is time for you to get kicked to the curb. From now on my mind will be solely stemmed around the positives. Instead of focusing on what's going to happen to me, I need to realize that hey, at least I tried, at least I went out and really was enjoying myself. Because as of right now, I'm sheltered away in my home to make sure that nothing can really go wrong.
I need to stick to the true me. I'm outgoing, fun, adventurous and so very goal oriented. I know exactly what I want out of my life. I know that I'm going far in my life and that whatever I put my mind to I will be able to accomplish it. Giving into my negative thoughts have put me into a path of sadness, despair and feeling worthless. It might take some time, but I will start beginning to think positively for once.
Anxiety needs to be ignored-- I've focused on it for far too long. I'm ready for the change I need to better my life and my health. From here on out- you're a minor thought. My positive outlook on my life will overcome you.
Always remember, everything you want to accomplish-- you will. Have faith.
