Mom,
I want to start by saying, I have absolutely no idea what it feels like to lose anyone close to me, let alone my mother at 15 years old. All I can really do is imagine, and it is not an experience I would wish for anyone. However, here you are—and you are the strongest woman I know.
Thank you for being a mommy's girl for the short period of time you were able to be. Without that, how would I know anything about my grandmother? Over three decades later, you can still tell me the songs she sang, the shows she watched, and the food she cooked. You can spray the Chanel No.5 Perfume that she wore so religiously onto my neck when it is time to go out. Though she never truly became what we all think of as "Grandma," I feel like I know her pretty darn well.
With that being said, you expect your children to look up to you the way you looked up to your mother. Maybe at times your kids are not around as much because of responsibilities such as work and school, but do not think for a second we do not think of you as our world. Put into perspective how you did not have a mom in your twenties. You may never have fought for 15 years, but do you truly think that would not have changed? Realistically, you may have ended up butting heads... but I guess we will never know. What is important to realize, however, is that you will always remember your mother and how you felt about her from the eyes of a young girl. My eyes are continuously growing and adapting. Life has become extremely complicated from high school to college, but no matter what, I will always consider myself Mommy's girl. From before I even entered this world, you were my caretaker, my protector.
Now, you are my best friend. I know all you ever wanted was to have your mother by your side, but you get to be in her position at this time. I am in the position you yearn for, and I will not take that for granted. You wished to have her see your graduations, wedding, and her grandchildren. Unfortunately, I cannot make that happen, but I can only hope you are here to experience all of those on my end. See your daughter as a gift from your mother who left way too soon, and view it as a chance to experience what she could not. You are now older than she was when she passed, and as difficult as that is to think of, see it as an opportunity to live the life you always wished for with her. Life has a weird way of working itself out, and for all the hard times you went through... Look what you have now, and always hold her memory in your heart. I know I sure do.
Love you always,
Your Daughter
