Dear Mental Health,

Wow, can you believe we made it though 2018? Let's look back for a second so we can look forward: We dropped $800 on our car in the first couple weeks of the year on the car that we just got 5 months before, we got broken up with, we drank... we realized that was not the path we wanted to be on and chopped 11 inches off our hair. Yes the break up bob. We got a tattoo to remind us that no one can love us better than we can love ourselves and that we must love ourselves to fall in love. We got a piercing... we DD-ed that ex from before for his best friend's 21st birthday. We got on decent terms. We tried to stay away but fell back into that relationship. Which no matter what people want to hear, was not good for us... Of course we loved him but he was hurting and we could not help. We moved in with friends. We started our senior year and partied. We woke up one morning to a pounding on the door... it was that boy's roommate informing me that that boy put a bullet through his head.

We were not okay for a few weeks...

We spent a lot of time being numb...

We went out and cried in the bathroom a lot...

We got black out drunk and made out with strangers on the dance floor on a Tuesday...

We kicked friends out of our room when all they wanted was to see if we were okay...

We yelled at a lot of people close to us...

We were not okay for a few weeks...

Because of that we became close.

I let you break down when you need to now instead of forcing you to bottle things up. You allow me to step away and speak up when I become overwhelmed. I allow you feel the emotions and you allow me to express them appropriately. I now understand the power behind using the word "no". I know that plans are going to change which is going to piss you off but you understand that we cannot plan everything out and that is okay. We understand each other so much better now and we know how to work together as a team.

We go out and do things alone. We found out who we need to keep in our life and who needed to go... we found a boy and he is so good to both of us. He is kind and caring and loving LITERALLY all of the time. We have decided to keep him for a little because he makes us smile like they do in a romance movie. We have been going to the gym lately to get body image on the same positivity boat that we are sailing in....We are growing and moving in the right direction and I could not be more proud of us. We finally love each other.