It wasn't until the summer before my first year of college that I replaced my flip phone with you, oh-so magical iPhone. I was hesitant to start my journey with you, but I now know that my reservations were valid.

While, at first, I didn't interact with you much, the time has come when I check my text messages and notifications nearly every few minutes. It's not a problem, you say? Well, it certainly has become one for me. I enjoy my privacy. And I cherish my value even more. Although I am frustrated with you at the moment, you made some positive impacts on my life.

We cannot forget the countless times you gave me a way to contact my lifeline when I was distraught over boys or needed encouragement to make tough decisions.

We cannot forget that you helped me tremendously with contacting my Odyssey writers and looking up random facts for my homework.

And we certainly cannot forget that you helped me get up in the morning when I had those 8 AM classes. Without you, I may have already been kicked out of school.

But I'm here to tell you that I need a break. No--I don't want to disown you completely. That is not the case at all. I just need some of my personal space back. It's a fair proposition, I believe. We can both benefit from this, actually. Me, I get my privacy. And you, you get extra time to sleep and recharge. It's a win-win situation, really.

Now that we've gotten my issues out of the way, let's remember that you probably are just as annoyed as I am. I constantly enter my password incorrectly, religiously check to see if people have texted me, and never stop nagging you for directions.

With all of that said, please don't wake me up tomorrow morning.

Love you always (or, most of the time)

Jerry