Growing up, I tried not to pay too much mind to the comments made by friends about how my mom was never the one to pick me up from school or how my dad was always traveling. I would be lying if I said it didn’t bother me. Of course it did. It made me ask some horrible questions, like, “Do they even love me? Why isn’t my mom like all the other moms who go to the PTA meetings?” “Why is it so hard for dad to make it home in time for dinner?” Looking back, I realize how absurd these questions were. I’ll be honest: as a child and early teen, I spent far too much time resenting my parents for having full-time jobs. However, after spending a full year away from both of my parents, I have come to realize all the lessons I learned from having not just one but two parents who have worked full time throughout my life. This is a letter to the two most influential and important people in my life, and the reasons I am thankful they work as hard as they do.
Dear mom and dad,
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This letter is long overdue, primarily because I am sure you have spent a great deal of your lives, and probably all of mine, worrying about whether or not you would ever hear how I truly felt about your busy work lives. So, here it is, all the things I felt over the years but neglected to say.
Number one, thank you for having to travel so much for work. Not only did it teach me how to be independent when you two were away, but it also taught me that I am capable of solving problems on my own, and that I don’t always need someone else to talk through things with me.
Number two, thank you for always calling when you were on the road. Whether you had to go to New York or South Korea, you never failed to pick up the phone and let me know that you missed me and were thinking of me. Even though I spent a lot of time as a kid feeling neglected that you couldn’t tell me how much you love me in person, I came to learn that answering your phone in the middle of an important business meeting showed me just how much you love me, and more than a hug ever could.
Number three, thank you for actually knowing how to edit an essay. I’m not saying that if someone’s parents don’t have jobs or work full-time, they won’t know how to edit a paper properly. However, I am fortunate enough to say that the field that the two of you are involved in allows for me to have some of the best people editing my work. Even when you had your own documents to tweak, you always made time for my research papers and personal essays. Without you guys, I probably would have failed freshman year English.
Number four, thank you for making me such an experienced traveler. I cannot tell you how many of my friends have traveled. They have been to some amazing places all over the world, but there’s a difference between traveling, and being a good traveler. Thanks to the two of you, I have not only been to some incredible places, but I have also perfected the art of being a smart and efficient traveler. As a kid, I may not have understood why it’s so important to know what gate to get to and whether or not your liquids are “travel-sized” but I must say, as a college student who has to fly to-and-from school, I am more grateful than you could ever know for all my travel knowledge.
Number five, and the most important one of all, thank you for always showing up. Having one child who is an athlete is demanding enough, but having two that are athletes is like having another job for parents. Even so, you gave everything you had to make sure that you two were at every swim meet and gymnastics competition either of us had. Whether it meant having to take the red eye to make sure you made it in time for your business meeting the next morning, or facing extreme jetlag to ensure you were there when the national anthem played, you guys never failed to show up.
So, from the little girl all those years ago that resented you for being such hard-working people, I want to say thank you now. Thank you for teaching me independence and self-reliance. Thank you for showing me that you still cared even if you weren’t there. Thank you for being smart, hard-working people who set a good example. Thank you for allowing me to become a capable and experienced adult. And above anything else, thank you for being there for the little girl who was terrified to do a handstand on the balance beam.
Rest assured, although that little girl thought she needed you there for everything, the grown-up version of her has realized she only needs you there for the important things. So as long as you hugged her during the horrible times and supported her during the terrifying times, you did the best you could have done at being full-time employees, and full time parents. And for that, I thank you.
