I've been that girl (and I probably will be again). I know that girl. I see that girl in many of my friends... and it's hard watching these people we love getting their hearts broken time and time again. I write this as an open letter to one of my best friends that I just want to give praise to a little bit, and I hope this helps others not only recognize their self-worth, but embrace it and work it! Y'all deserve more.
Just read the list below if you have any doubt that this article is for you.
-You join those dating sites (although you know their toxic).
-You overlook those glaring issues in your significant other, or crush, because you believe the good outweighs the bad.
-You potentially put yourself out there too much.
-You accept any attention as good attention, or you don't turn it down as fast as you know you should.
-You secretly hate all these "coupley" posts that appear in your news feed, because you don't have that.
- You sometimes question, "What's wrong with me? Why can't I have what X and X have?"
These are just a few of them, and I know reading them can be hard to accept — as I know I struggled to accept that I've done these myself (and now you all know that). But this article was spurred by a "somewhat epiphany" and by a conversation I recently had with one of my best guy friends. While on the phone with him he made a comment, saying, "Well that's what people see as their options after college: to travel or get married."
Like what?No! Not OK! I told him immediately, "That's not true. What happened to being a strong single woman and being OK with that? To working towards one's life goals? To dating around casually until someone becomes the exception?" And this is when I realize I've been that girl that spends too much time considering my worth for the benefit for someone else. This is where the people that care about us most, the ones that want to see us succeed, start to have their hearts crushed.
Think about the people that have truly been there for us: our parents, a few dear friends, family? Those that have supported our efforts to bettering ourselves, whether through education, travel, work experience, etc. They are the ones that have been encouraging us to be that strong, single independent person with dreams and goals, and methods to reach them! Nowhere in this was the stipulation that you had to be dating someone to reach your goals.
Is it wrong to want love or a nice fling? No, its not wrong. What's wrong, and what breaks the hearts of those that love us the most, is when we don't see the fire within ourselves. Instead, we think someone out there is holding the match, and is to light it for us.
So, to you, my best friend: I love you like a sister. I see the power in you to change the world for the better, and eventually make some guy a very, very lucky man. But my wish for you is to start seeing yourself for your total worth. Don't let that worth waiver because of some random guy's opinion of you or because he decided he didn't want to be with you. It is truly his loss!
Maybe it's me finally being a senior, that I am seeing that college does end. (You can forget this in these four long years.) And instead of building ourselves up, we focus too much time and energy on thinking someone besides our own selves has to do that for us. Make yourself happy! Dream those big dreams! Nothing is too out of reach for you. Don't let go of your wants or needs for someone that doesn't want you to reach your greatest potential.
Love. Yourself. First. You'll never regret that.
