Dearest squirt,

Your arrival in our home was unconventional, and in a way, unexpected. It all started with a phone call: “We have a baby boy at the hospital who was born a couple days ago. Are you willing to take him?” It seems like just yesterday you came through the doors of our home, screaming at the top of your little baby lungs. Immediately, my world shifted. I struggled when you first arrived, though. A multitude of thoughts rushed through my mind: “How will I love another kiddo?”, “How will I adjust when he leaves?”, “How will we do this as a family?” Yet the Lord provided. He brought us through the trials and struggles that you faced, He showed us how to teach you and, most of all, He showed us how to love you.

But today, you left our house. My heart is in a trillion pieces. I never imagined that your leaving would be this hard. I knew it would be difficult, but on the day the phone call came that you would be moving to a permanent home, I found myself broken. The thought of you leaving in just two weeks caused me to fall into fragments on the floor. I knew it was for the best, but you had been with us for so long that I could not imagine you not being with us. With time, I was able to process that you would be leaving, but when you actually left today, I was unable to gather my emotions in a concise way.

At the same time, though, when the phone rang that day, I rejoiced that you would have a forever home. I had pleaded with the Lord for quite some time that He would give you an amazing forever home. Now that He has, I am grateful, but my house feels so empty without you. It is all too quiet and calm without you running around, giggling and squealing at the top of your lungs.

You brought so much joy to my life. You changed the way I view so many aspects of raising children, and you taught me so much about how to love effectively. Sweet squirt, I am forever grateful for you. 21 months was simply not long enough, but please know that I will always love you. The pictures of you will remain on my walls, and forever etched in my mind will be the moments that we spent together. Your contagious laugh, that took you so long to develop, will always be a resounding song in my ears, reminding me of the joy that you always carried.

You may not read this for another 10 or 20 years, but sweet boy, I hope that when you read it, you remember just how much I loved you and how much I still love you. For all those days you spent with us, that you may not fully remember, please know that you were held, cuddled, kissed and most of all, loved.

I love you oh so very much.

Love,

Sissy (Rachel)