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An Open Letter To My First Heart Break

To the one that I thought was the one (but wasn't)

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An Open Letter To My First Heart Break
Alexis

To the one who I thought was the one (but wasn't),

It took a lot for me to even think about writing this, but enough time has gone by that I think it's okay now. It took a long time before I could even hear your name without breaking out into tears, or getting angry. Though I've had other breakups, and I've been hurt other times, losing you stung the most. If you would've asked me then if I could ever picture us life this, I would've said 'not in a million years' but things happen, people make mistakes, and people change, but life goes on.

I really never pictured us ending up like we did. The I love you's and the time we spent together, the promise ring, it all seemed so real. Not only were you my first heart break, but you were also the first time I had ever loved, and I couldn't of asked for it better. Things were so perfect, I could've sworn you were the one, and you promised that you were, but things just didn't work out that way.

The beginning was the worst. For a long time I felt a piece of me was missing and I couldn't do my every day tasks without being reminded of you because somehow everything had a tie to you. Seeing your posts on social media didn't help either. We tried to make it work again, but couldn't because maybe the timing was off.

There are big moments that at the time, I wish you would've been there to experience with me, share the moment together, tell me how proud you were of me. You weren't there, not for a single one of these moments, but I had family and friends who were, who filled the void of you, told me how proud of me they were, and shared each of those moments with me, and I'm okay with that.

As time went on your name and the thought of you was rarely on my mind, we lived different lives. We had both changed, moved on to different things, better things. We were both creating lives for ourselves. Despite the occasional tagged post, or driving past each other, there was no more you.

I've changed as a person, I'm not the same person you knew anymore. I was sad, for a long time. I used that to give me power, power to make a great life. A life that I was happy with. I made new friends, I kept some old ones, I'm going to school for something I love, and I'm Happy. I never thought that day would come, but it did.

You may or may not see this, but if you do, there's just one thing I want you to know..

I hope you're doing as well as I am, I truly do. You're a good person deep down despite our rough ending. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that things happened and we didn't work out. I'm sorry that we didn't last forever like we had both promised. Good luck to you and your new life, because I'm loving mine.

Until we meet again.

Yours truly

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