First off, I love you. Whether I tell you it every day or every so often when I talk to you because time difference gets in the away or going off to college. I can’t international call because I’m not home to use the international phone. I do I truly love each and every one of you and everything about you.

I also miss you every day and that’s not an understatement. Sometimes I wake up and just wish I could buy a plane ticket and 4 hours later run into your arms as I walk out of security in the airport. I think about you every day and remember all the good times we’ve had. It pains me to think that all I have is memories from years ago with you instead of memories of a week ago or even a day ago.

To my little cousins, whether I met you when you were a year old and I’m meeting you again now when you’re 4, or I just met you for the first time or I grew up with you and you were my best friend but I’m older because I’m cooler than you, haha. I hate not seeing you grow up. The babies, I wish I could’ve seen you be born and posted basic Instagram pictures of how I’m already in love with you. I wish I could’ve seen you walk for the first time, say my name for the first time when you were learning to talk. I wish I could’ve been that cool cousin that took you everywhere you wanted and gave you whatever you wanted when your parents didn’t. My older cousins, you guys are my best friends. You know who you are. You have been through it all with me when the shit hits the fan and I break down you Whatsapp me from away and tell me to get it together. When I came to visit every summer you raised hell with me and acted like the adventurer you never were with me. You pissed off our grandma and grandpa with me so we could have our fun. You were like my second sibling truly. When we were babies every picture our parents took was of us together in diapers being little terrors. Now you’re the little sibling I couldn’t be more proud of. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to see you grow every inch you tree trunk-self grew, I’m sorry I couldn’t attend your graduation. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you when you went through your hard times and needed someone.

To my grandparents, you practically raised me when I lived there. You gave me some of the best memories every summer I visited. You spoiled me every summer and every birthday/ graduation/ achievement with gifts even from another country. You gave me love even if it's through a phone call. I’ve loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you when I was born and I’ll never stop loving you because you’re my blood. But I hate not being here, I hate not having you guys a mile away and not thousands. I hate feeling like I’ve lost out on getting memories with you and when I grow older feeling like what if I won't have as much to remember you by compared to the rest of my cousins. I also hate knowing that you’re sick and I only get minimal time to see you at the near ends of your life or the harder times of your elder years. I wish I could treasure your last decade or last years with you.

To my uncles and aunts, you guys are like my second parents when I visit. Housing me, feeding me, and bossing me around so I throw my fits at you. You’ve seen all of me, the good, the bad and the ugly. All I have to say to you guys is thank you for all the hospitality all the "Whats app" love from another country and thank you for being part of the village that’s raised me. I miss you every day and to the extent that I miss you I cannot say because there’s no number high enough.

To everyone, living in the U.S. is fun. It’s taught me a lot about myself because of the different people, it’s grown me for success in ways that home could not but never think that I feel like it’s better than home or that it’s helped me forget you guys. I think of you every day and I miss you every day. The sacrifice my parents made was necessary and the hard times have been rough but I promise every day I’m not away you live in my heart and I promise I will never loose my love for you guys and I will visit more and build a better relationship with you.