I hate it when I know things are going to fall apart between me and someone else; especially in the case of my best friend. It was so painful to go through it, knowing at the back of my mind that someday, somehow, we'd stop talking and hanging out with each other. I still wonder if things would change between us, that one day we could fix our friendship together.
I'm not too sure what happened between us. I'm not sure how it is that you are treating me like strangers after all that we had, was it really that easy for you to let go of everything?
I look through our conversations that we used to have every night without fail, and it still leaves my heart aching to know that you used to make me so happy with the simplest words and I don't even hear from you now.
Perhaps we got too comfortable with each other, maybe you got bored or maybe I just didn't try hard enough. We always read that 'best friends are people you know you don't need to talk to every single day, but when you do it's like you never stopped talking', but I guess we weren't supposed to go months without talking and expect everything to stay the same. But one thing for sure, we've lost it all. For you, at least.
I hope someday we'll talk again and things will go back to the way it was, but if we don't, I hope you remember that you were my best 'best friend' and it hurts to hear you call someone else your best friend. I wish someone would treasure you for all that you are and you are not; because I truly did.
We've both stopped talking to each other for a while now. I guess it doesn't hurt as much as before, at least for me. I definitely still think of you and our memories together, but I have learned to move on. People come and go, and just because you've known someone for years doesn't mean you still will for another ten years. Every time I sink myself on the bed and have the urge to compulsively FaceTime you, my heart breaks when I realize we don't have anything in common to talk about. My heart shatters when I hang out with old friend and they ask about our friendship because of how inseparable we were before. I know we aren't anymore, but I guess I'm starting to get used to it.
On a side note, how have you been, my dear? Perhaps more than just fine without me? It stings to know the fact that you are, but I truly am happy for you - I just wish I could be your person and the two of us could be our own versions of Meredith and Christina.
You will always have a special place in my heart even though we no longer talk. I will look back at our times together and smile to myself, knowing how you helped me grow as a person and someday I hope I will be able to smile and ask if you've been fine.
