An Open Letter To My Depression | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

An Open Letter To My Depression

When you visit me tonight, we should finally talk.

31
An Open Letter To My Depression
Felipe Siebrecht

Dear Hell,

You eat at me when I sleep and although you are taming your hunger I lay there struggling to breathe. And sometimes I don't know why you want me or what I've done to you, but I'm helpless in the ongoing battle between our souls. You've conquered the pit you've carved out in my stomach and you reside there when the sun is high in the sky. I think the light burns into the darkness that you desire so you become a castaway until you're no longer afraid to come out and play. But it's not so much playing as it is a boy teasing a girl on the playground. It's not so much playing as it's insomnia or the thoughts that linger around my head at night. I know you all too well.

I surrendered my innocence to you as you demanded pieces of my happiness. We traded your nightmares for my day dreams, like I traded toys in elementary school, reluctant and coerced. But you see, I was faultless back then and now all I can see are my flaws that you lay out in front of me every night before I close my eyes. Now, I find my knees pressed to my chest and my lungs gasping for oxygen that never seems to travel to them.

You're crazy they all tell me. They spell it out in grammatically correct sentences with capitalized letters and periods. But what they don't understand is that I'm just a girl on the playground and the crazy is the clouds that shadow a perfectly bright day. You leaked your way gradually into my life and I sometimes wish you would have hit me like an oncoming train instead.

You have sucked the living life out of me as you feed yourself on my goals, dreams, and accomplishments. You have become apart of me, growing from my hip that identifies itself with me, as me. Some days you take pity on me and it feels like bricks have been lifted from my chest, but I remind myself that it's only a short release. You aren't that kind. You won't relinquish, and I have accepted that because I am fighting you from the bottom of my heart and sooner or later you'll be the boy who nobody wants to be friends with.

I am giving you the fight of your life so you better suit up.

See you soon

Jackie


Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

12 Midnight NYE: Fun Ideas!

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

13976
Friends celebrating the New Years!
StableDiffusion

When the clock strikes twelve midnight on New Year's Eve, do you ever find yourself lost regarding what to do during that big moment? It's a very important moment. It is the first moment of the New Year, doesn't it seem like you should be doing something grand, something meaningful, something spontaneous? Sure, many decide to spend the moment on the lips of another, but what good is that? Take a look at these other suggestions on how to ring in the New Year that are much more spectacular and exciting than a simple little kiss.

Keep Reading...Show less
piano
Digital Trends

I am very serious about the Christmas season. It's one of my favorite things, and I love it all from gift-giving to baking to the decorations, but I especially love Christmas music. Here are 11 songs you should consider adding to your Christmas playlists.

Keep Reading...Show less
campus
CampusExplorer

New year, new semester, not the same old thing. This semester will be a semester to redeem all the mistakes made in the previous five months.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

Let's face it, last semester you woke up with enough time to brush your teeth and get to class and even then you were about 10 minutes late and rollin' in with some pretty unfortunate bed head. This semester we will set our alarms, wake up with time to get ready, and get to class on time!

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

The 5 Painfully True Stages Of Camping Out At The Library

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

2758
woman reading a book while sitting on black leather 3-seat couch
Photo by Seven Shooter on Unsplash

And so it begins.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

Camping out at the library is not for the faint of heart. You need to go in as a warrior. You usually have brought supplies (laptop, chargers, and textbooks) and sustenance (water, snacks, and blanket/sweatpants) since the battle will be for an undetermined length of time. Perhaps it is one assignment or perhaps it's four. You are motivated and prepared; you don’t doubt the assignment(s) will take time, but you know it couldn’t be that long.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

The 14 Stages Of The Last Week Of Class

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1670
black marker on notebook

December... it's full of finals, due dates, Mariah Carey, and the holidays. It's the worst time of the year, but the best because after finals, you get to not think about classes for a month and catch up on all the sleep you lost throughout the semester. But what's worse than finals week is the last week of classes, when all the due dates you've put off can no longer be put off anymore.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments