Dear Big Sister,
When you saw Mami’s belly growing, you, without a doubt, were thinking about the little munchkin (me) who was soon going to be demanding all of our parents attention. But little did you know that I would become your new-found obsession… for the first couple years, at least.
Seeing you in school, I couldn’t help but run up to you and show everyone who my big sister was. You, of course, hated when I would show any kind of affection towards you because you were “older” and didn’t want to be seen with a little kid. I learned to brush it off and take it as “our little secret” that you loved me and didn’t want to make other kids jealous because they didn’t have older siblings like you. Obviously, this was completely made up in my head but I liked to believe it was true. I will admit that the five-year age gap made it difficult for us to build a relationship when we were young. I was always the annoying little sister and I’m so sorry for all the times I tried to get you in trouble. I realize now how horrible that was and I honestly don’t know why you don’t try to get me back for it.
I wish we would’ve shared a year in high school together. I would’ve liked to be the cool freshman who got driven to school AND got to park on campus. Freshman year was maybe one of the hardest transitions for me, not counting college. Hearing from mom and dad that you didn’t like it broke my heart and seeing you leave dreading going back to school made it so much worse for me to say bye. I don’t think I ever told you that but now you know. I should’ve visited you but I was so absorbed in myself that I didn’t think it was necessary.
Looking back, I regret not having more memories of us while you were away. It would’ve been cool being able to recount the times I went to visit you and remember all our adventures but its ok. No matter how many times I didn’t go visit you we still have the one. I will never forget falling in the club, or running into our cousin outside, or me sleeping until 2pm the next day, or ordering desert at brunch. I think that’s when things took a turn in our relationship. Instead of seeing me as your sister, you saw me as a friend.
Friends are the people that will be there for you whenever you need them but they aren’t the people that stick around your whole life or who have been there since you were born. Making that transition made us realize what we were to each other. We’re the only people that will always be there when things get tough. Whether its family issues, or friend issues, or your douchebag boyfriend did something stupid…again, we’ll always be the person that knows the other best and knows just what the other needs to get over it. I know I’ve had times where I think you’re the weirdest person in the world and you probably think that I’m a selfish brat who always gets her way, but that’s okay because we’re “sisters” as cliché as it sounds.
As we grow up the word “sister” has gained more weight. It isn’t the term we use to refer to our sibling but one that symbolizes an eternal bond between friends. A bond that will be there forever solidified by the blood of our parents. If I had the option to pick a sister, I would probably pick someone else not gonna lie, but that person wouldn’t have been half as great as you have been.
As I write this letter, I can’t even express the amount of gratitude I have for you. You have taught me what not to do, what to do, and how to get away with it. Because of you I can confidently say that you have bred a great liar. But you’ve also bred a girl who knows she can’t push her parents too far but when I have you’ve been there to back me up more times than I can count. Your nerdy ass set the bar so high that I would never be able to match it but instead of boasting about it to our parents, you’ve worked with them to accept my failures as a student and kept me positive in my academics. I would die a hundred times for you and not regret it every time.
So, thank you. Thank you for making so many mistakes I could learn from. Thank you for getting your heartbroken so I had a glimpse of what it looked like. Thank you for experimenting with alcohol so I knew how to control it. Thank you for arguing with our parents so I wouldn’t be grounded. Thank you for being a great sister.
Sincerely,
Your Little Sister
