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Politics and Activism

An Open Letter To My Bank Account

I'm sorry I don't check up on you more, it's just that I'm scared.

Heather Lennon

Feb 22, 2016

University of Notre Dame

Dear Bank Account,

We've been through so much together. The highs, the lows and the overdraws. You've been my best friend and my worst enemy. You've been a source of pride and a topic of shame. I'd have nothing without you (literally), and I'm so glad that my parents' co-signature on you brought us together.

I first would like to say that I'm sorry. We both know I don't treat you right sometimes. Did I need that dress I ordered last week? No, probably not. And I know that it seriously hurt you when I went and ordered it anyway, without even checking to see if you were in good shape. You weren't. You were on the brink of death, somewhere in the $30-40 ballpark range. I never meant to hurt you. It was selfish, and you deserve someone more caring and fiscally responsible. I swear that I'll work on being better, just give me time and promise to stay not that empty for now.

I'm sorry that I don't check you as often as I should. Honestly, it scares me. Who knows if you'll be in the hundreds, in the tens or, dare I say it, in the low single digits. I'm sorry for ignoring you when I know that you're not doing too well, but hey, ignorance is bliss, right?

Thank you for always holding it down and letting me do fun things that I enjoy. Without you, I couldn't buy coffee or go bowling or go out to dinner. I would live a sad life, because Chipotle costs money, and without you I have none. I am so thankful that you let me make it rain every now and again. You and payday always know how to turn my frown upside-down.

I'm trying to create a better future for us, babe. I'm out here applying for internships, trying to get a job with some semblance of a post-recession salary, so that I can make you full and strong. One day, we'll look back on the days that my card got declined at Taco Bell at 3:45 a.m. on a $3.59 purchase, because you know what? We shall overcome. One day, we may be able to finance a shared two bedroom apartment in a cheap yet trendy area of Brooklyn, and the world shall be ours. So I know times are tough, and that I may eat mostly ramen and cereal, but one day we can go to an Applebee's, and together we can get the expensive salad, and maybe even a diet coke. I believe in us. I really do.

Yours,

Your very broke college student owner who hopefully gets paid this Friday

P.S. I'm sorry I lie to my mom when she asks how you are

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An Open Letter To My Bank Account

I'm sorry I don't check up on you more, it's just that I'm scared.

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We don't buy into these... just like how we don't buy our friends.

8. "The whole philanthropy thing isn't real, right?"

7. "I don't need to buy my friends."

6. "Oh, so I'll bet you love to drink."

5. "Can you tell me some of your secrets?"

4. "What do you do at your meetings?"

3. "Do you guys haze really badly?"

2. "Is it just like in the movies?"

1. "Sororities are so basic."

There are plenty of obstacles that come when taking care of kids, but it's a very rewarding experience.

1. You get excited when the parents purchase season passes to the pool.

2. You've become friends with the stay-at-home moms in town.

3. You get a chance to eat "kid foods" again.

4. You've traded in your cute purse for a large tote bag.

5. You have at least one car seat in your backseat.

6. Their nap time is your happy time.

7. Lunch time can be a disaster.

8. You have to play the same board games repeatedly.

9. You catch yourself using the same lines your parents once told you.

10. Your "mom-mode" kicks in at times.

11. Your heart melts a little when they do something cute.

You'll never find any souvenirs with your name on it

1. You know you are up next when the teacher pauses while taking attendance

2. When “I’m going to do my very best to make sure I know all your names” is said, it may or may be an empty promise

3. “Wow! That sounds so cool! Where is your family from?”

4. You dread when people ask you to repeat your name over and over because it “sounds so cool when you say it”

5. There’s a 50/50 chance that your name will come back either correct or incorrect at Starbucks

6. People try to find shorter, easier nicknames for you instead of calling you by your actual name

7. When someone famous or fictional character shares your name, you get so happy

8. “What’s your name?” “It’s [name]” “I’m sorry, what was it again?”

9. You’ve pretty much seen every misspelling and heard every mispronunciation of your name throughout your life

10. When you find another person with an “ethnic” sounding name, you both get excited

11. Despite the struggles, your name is pretty unique… just like you

Can I be excused for the rest of my life?

Don't Be That Person

1. “Oh, so you/your family are immigrants!”

2. “Is Puerto Rico near Mexico?”

3. “Do you speak Puerto Rican?”

4. “You look too light/dark to be Puerto Rican.”

5. “Do I need my passport to go to Puerto Rico?”

6. “Geez, you are obsessed with your flag. We get it, you’re Puerto Rican.”

7. “Why are you so loud?”

8. “So does your family know English?”

9. “Oh my god, Puerto Ricans are so spicy.”

10. “So did you eat a lot of tacos?”

11. “Are you Mexican?”

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