" Band ten hut",

" PRIDE".

This was the one word that defined me for a long time. The word that used to strain my throat and prepared the performance smile on my face. Around this word were members of my family, my guard, and my life. This word gave me my best friends and a new found talent. It also gave me a reason to be the happy person I grew to be and gave me something to keep me busy and make me roll my eyes about even though I loved every second of it. Lastly, out of everything else I could say, It gave me a sore heart. Because after preparing me for show after show and competitions and even for future teamwork skills, it didn't prepare me for my last day, my last competition, my last halftime show and the last day I walked out of that band room.

Spring of sophomore year.

Sometime in April about three years ago is when I decided to try out for color guard. I remember not even being remotely talented enough to hold the pole let alone toss it. I was so scared and band camp was all I could think about. I was not the most popular and after having not found my niche after almost two years I was lost. I did not honestly know how badly I needed this until my last day putting my equipment away and hearing the songs of past shows in my head faintly looking at all the silks in the guard closet. After making the team I had no idea how much I would actually going to love guard and band. I didn't know I was joining a family until we became one.

This one time at band camp.

Despite the awful movie reference band camp wasn't completely awful and I actually somehow enjoyed myself through the heat, limited water breaks, and the constant band director lie of " Only one more run". The sock tan lines and mosquito bites were only minimal battle scars compared to the living nightmare of being a new guard member and being the target of every flagpole in the room, at least that's what you're afraid of. On top of taking forever to learn tosses and keep in time, you lose some confidence. You wonder if you are even good enough to be there and if you will ever get better or advance to better things and different equipment. Eventually, you remember what you are made of and move on and advance but until that point, it really shows you what you are made of.

My first halftime show.

This Friday night was the most nerve-racking of my life. No amount of glitter eyeshadow and hairspray could even come close to calming me down, especially when we went to warm up before marching on the field. I don't remember in a lot of detail what it was like, except that I may never feel that type of true happiness and stress together in that combination ever again. Somewhere on that field during that show I fell in love. With the lights, the glitter, the music and the almost dropped but still perfect tosses. This started what I never knew would be the beginning of a very memorable heartbreak.

My last show.

This paragraph wont be much different from the previous expect that I have a little more experence and all my nerves turned into excitement. This was it. The last time I would ever do this. After all the friends and forever family that I found ontop of the wonders and horrors that came with being a guard member I tried so hard not to think that this time had gone by faster than I ever dreamed it could. As I marched my last set and rolled my eyes at little mistakes and let the music fade away in the sound of a cheering crowd, I said goodbye to my marching band career.

It's been almost a year since graduation and not a day goes by that I don't miss something about it. Thank you to everyone who made that such a huge part of my life and congratulations to the people who are just starting. Now that my sock tan lines have faded and I have more water than I know what to do with I will always love marching band for who it helped me grow to be and for truly saving me.