I'll admit I wasn't completely innocent, I was in the wrong plenty of times. I used you as an escape, reduced you to one of my many bad habits. It was supposed to be stress-free, it was supposed to be casual. We had an understanding and I thought you would respect it. I was wrong for trusting you. I was right in leaving once the night time whispers turned from soft and sweet to berating and harsh. But, for reasons I still haven't figured out, I came crawling back. I thought you had changed, that the verbal lashings would stop.

I was such a strong girl, I didn't tolerate any nonsense and I always defended myself. But you chipped away at my hard exterior, leaving a frightened little girl instead. I tried to distance myself from you, move on with my life. I gave you excuse after excuse, hoping it would work. But after every excuse, you were there with some kind of compromise so we were together for another long night. You made me feel like I was on top of the world, so alive.

But, seemingly overnight, that feeling was replaced and you made me feel so small and insignificant. Nothing I did was right and nothing I did pleased you. You just wanted me to give and give and give when I was all tapped out. I was left with nothing. Or so I thought. Until one night, you stole something from me I can never get back. Something you had no right in taking and I told you that multiple times before. I struggled with it, drowning myself in "what ifs" and I "should ofs". I have to sit here and wallow in my pain and shame while you get to go on with your life. But mine seems to be at a standstill. I don't wish any ill will on you but I have a scar on my soul I have to live with for the rest of my life and nothing can erase it.

Domestic Abuse Hotline: 1−800−799−7233 or additonal help

Sexual Abuse Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 or additional help