Time is supposed to heal everything, right? Not exactly... We never expect the unexpected deaths in our lives, and that's where reality hits. Every emotion runs through your head, and there are a million and one thoughts you wish you had the chance to express. With time, some things get better, but you'll never get the chance to say what you wish you had the chance to say.

To Loved Ones Gone Too Soon,

I miss you to infinity and beyond. Every day I reflect on what you meant to me, and what I wish I could've said to you. No day goes by where I don't think about you, and how you're doing in heaven. When things get tough, I always feel as though you're right there with me to keep me on the right path. I wish I had the opportunity to say goodbye, even though I knew you were sick. I was afraid to let you know how upset I was, and still am. I'm glad you're in a better place, but I need you to know how much I love you. I would give anything for you to be back in this world, as long as you weren't in pain. I would spend more time and enjoy your beautiful qualities just a little longer.

Please know how much you influenced me on how to live life. My greatest qualities of adventure and facial expressions came directly from you, and I'll always recognize your face in the mirror. My love for cooking comes from your Italian upbringing, thanks to my nosiness during the holiday cooking seasons. Holidays are less special without you on this earth, and that's what kills me the most. There's never enough salt in the sauce, there are no more Italian cookies, and ravioli's are just not the same. Sewing isn't as relevant to me anymore, and long-distance phone calls have no more place in my life.

Now that your essence is gone in my life, it's been a long road to becoming who I am again. I feel like a huge piece is missing, and getting it back feels like an act almost impossible to achieve. Seeing my family affected is no easy task to take in either. The service was tough to get through and I was just too young to show an abundance of emotion, I still feel guilty for that. I felt like I needed to be the strong one for everyone else, especially my younger cousins. No matter the emotion, please know how much emotion I feel today, and every day that passes. You meant more to me than even my greatest passion. Nobody can replace your character or spunk, but I intend to live your life out in mine for the rest of my life. I always keep a piece of you around my neck almost every day, especially important life events.

Thank you for always supporting me in all my endeavors, and for always being there in spirit and in mind. Thank you for always recognizing my accomplishments, and being someone I embody to be every day. I love you to infinity and beyond, and I wish you were still here to see me grow into a great person.

I'll love you forever, I'll love you always.

Sincerely,

Someone Who Wishes She Could Rewind Time